11.23.2004

before sunrise and the sunset


1995, Before Sunrise I saw the first movie 9 years ago and I loved it. And though it drove me mad, I absolutely loved the ending, loved the simplicity of it all. I'm glad that they're making a sequel and I can't wait to see it. Anyway, below are some thoughts that scriptwriters, Richard Linklater and Kim Krizan wrote in the movie. I've edited them so it won't be soooo long and you have to watch the movie to truly appreciate it. Musings and questions we might like to ask ourselves sometimes to make life more complicated that it already is - hehehe. But still, What would life be without such questions.



Céline: Have you ever heard that as couples get older, they lose their ability to hear each other? Well, supposedly, men lose the ability to hear higher-pitched sounds, and women eventually lose hearing in the low end. I guess they sort of nullify each other, or something.

Jesse: I guess. Nature's way of allowing couples to grow old together without killing each other.



Jesse: Alright, alright. Think of it like this. Jump ahead, ten, twenty years and you're married. Only your marriage doesn't have that same energy that it used to have. You start to blame your husband. You start to think about all those guys you've met in your life, and what might have happened if you'd picked up with one of them, right? (Céline starts laughing a bit) Well, I'm one of those guys. That's me, you know. So think of this as time travel, from then, to now, to find out what you're missing out on. See, what this really could be is a gigantic favor to both you and your future husband, to find out that you're not missing out on anything. I'm just as big a loser as he is, totally unmotivated, totally boring, and you made the right choice, and you're really happy (motions to towards the door).



Céline: I always liked the idea of all those unknown people lost in the world. When I was a little girl, I thought that if none of your family or friends knew you were dead, then it's like not really being dead. People can invent the best and the worst for you.



Céline: Do you know anyone who's in a happy relationship?
Jesse: yeah, sure. I know happy couples. But I think they lie to each other.

Céline: People can lead their life as I lie. My grandmother, she was married to this man, and I always thought she had a very simple, uncomplicated love life. But she just confessed to me that she spent her whole life dreaming about another man she was always in love with. She just accepted her fate. It's so sad. And in the same time, I love the idea that she had all those emotions and feelings I never thought she would have had.

Jesse: I guarantee you, it was better that way. If she'd ever got to know him, you know, I'm sure he would have disappointed her eventually.

Céline: How do you know? You don't know them.

Jesse: Yeah, I know, I know. It's just, people have these romantic projections they put on everything. You know. that's not based on any kind of reality.



Céline: I was in an old church like this with my grandmother a few days ago in Budapest. Even though I reject most of the religious things, I can't help but feeling for all those people that come here lost or in pain, guilt, looking for some kind of answers. It fascinates me how a single place can join so much pain and happiness for so many generations.



Jesse: Well, I went to this Quaker wedding once, and it was fantastic. What they do is the couple comes in and they kneel down in front of the whole congregation, and they just stare at each other, and nobody says a word unless they feel that God moves them to speak, or say something. And then after an hour or so, of just, uh, staring at each other, they're married.



Céline: Well, even if we were a little bit, you know. Why does everyone think conflict is so bad. There's a lot of good things coming out of conflict.



Jesse: People always talk about how love is this totally unselfish, giving thing, but if you think about it, you know, there's nothing more selfish.



Céline: You know, I have this awful paranoid thought, that feminism was mostly invented by men, so they could, like, fool around a little more. You know, women, free your minds, free your bodies, sleep with me. We're all happy and free as long as I can fuck as much as I want.

Jesse: I think on some level, women don't mind the idea of destroying a man, you know. Like, I was once walking down the street with my ex-girlfriend, and we just walked by these real four, kind of thuggy looking guys, next to a Camaro, and one of them, sure enough, says, 'Hey baby, nice ass.' So, I'm like, alright, Hey, no big deal, I'm not gonna get uptight about this, right? But she turns around and she says "Fuck you, dickheads", and I'm like, Okay, wait a minute, here, right. They're not gonna come over here and kick her ass, you know what I mean. So who just got pushed to the front line on that one? You see what I'm saying? I mean, women say they hate it if your all territorial and protective, but if it suits them, then they'll tell you you're being all unmanly, or wimpy, or, uh.

Jesse: Every couple's been having this conversation forever.

Céline: Any nobody's come up with anything.



Céline: I always feel this pressure of being a strong and independent icon of womanhood, and without making... making it look my... my whole life is revolving around some guy. But Loving someone, and being loved means so much to me. We always make fun of it and stuff. But isn't everything we do in life a way to be loved a little more?



Céline: He was almost crying saying that. You know, I believe if there's any kind of God, it wouldn't be in any of us. Not you, or me... but just this little space in between. If there's any kind of magic in this world, it must be in the attempt of understanding someone, sharing something (sigh). I know, it's almost impossible to succeed, but... who cares, really? The answer must be in the attempt.

Jesse: I mean, all-- everything is so finite. I mean, but don't you think that that's what makes our time, at specific moments, so important?



Jesse: Why do you think everybody thinks relationships are supposed to last forever?


Céline: I don't think we should sleep together. I mean, I want to, but since we're never gonna see each other again... it'll make me feel bad. I won't know who else you're with. I'll miss you. (she lies down beside him) I know. It's not very adult. Maybe it's a female thing, I can't help it.


Me: I have a firm belief that great, meanigful conversations like these with one's honey is waaaaaay much better than foreplay. lol.


11.19.2004

Moving On ... Next!

I just don't understand men. Why is it that when you decide you are ready to let go, they mutter something extremely romantic and you find yourself back in the roller coaster ride ... or maybe it's just me. (Boing!)


I don't like wearing the engagement ring although technically it's no longer an engagement ring but I have to call it that to set it apart from all other rings. It's my One Ring. It fits my stubby finger but it bothers me when I type. If I get fat, the ring will choke my finger till it stops blood circulation and turn my index into a fat blue sausage. Gross. I was not meant to wear a ring. If I get married, I must wear it around my neck, like a dogtag. Hmmmmm ... who will marry me now? :(

Anyway, I'm moving on. Enough of looking for love in all the wrong places, Looking for love in too many places. (Hehehe Must avoid going to Kenny Rogers). There's not much point in getting hung up in a relationship that will not see the light of day. But I've learned a lot from previous relationships (right, Vayls? as if ang dami! lol). And even if the romantic thingy has ended, I've managed to keep the platonic business platonic. So, off went the engagement ring. I get to keep it as a token of his love, Naks! and burn the entire music box (mp3s, IM text conversations and those bloody pictures) on CD for future reference. I have yet to write my novel and I need those. And although I'm striving for sainthood, I do want to get married and have some of those little tiny things they call babies. But if God has a sense of humor - and I'm sure he has lots of those, he might let me stay single. And I'm ready for that too. One thing is clear to me. I CANNOT settle for a guy who just happens to be there. I know what I want now. I'm also aware that I'm not searching for the perfect guy ... but the right one. What is the right guy, you ask? To be frank, I have no idea - hahahaha. But I will know him when I meet him. And if I don't end up marrying him, then that's ok too. I move on because there will be another right guy who will come along. My journey continues and I'm a weary but optimistic traveler.


I just wish they would stop being romantic and keep it platonic ... but where's the fun in that?


Men! They don't understand the word "no".

11.04.2004

Robert Frost


GS4C2130, originally uploaded by ilongga70.

Nature's first green is gold
Her hardest hue to hold
Her early leaf's a flower
But only so an hour
Then leaf subsides to leaf
And Eden sank to grief
So dawn goes down to day
Nothing gold can stay