6.15.2005

Barnacles and Tartar Sauce

I thought maybe it's high time for a post. Barnacles and tartar sauce! Instead of saying SHIT!, that's how my 9-year old nephew swears. And I echo him with amusement. I have lots to blog about. BARNACLES AND TARTAR SAUCE!

Woke up very early yesterday morning because of whispers and the sound of TV. That usually occurs when bad news happens so I forced myself to get up to see what the commotion was about. The last time this happened was when everyone was monitoring the news of the tsunami. My two sisters were up and awake in front of the tv. The jury has a verdict, they chorused. We are not really die-hard Michael Jackson fans. I do believe Jacko is wacko but I don't think he can do that to children. There's always the benefit of the doubt. Innocent until proven guilty. But who can really tell except those who were really there when it happened. Anyway, nobody really wins in cases like this. The damage has been done as soon as the press gets their blood on the papers. They will be marked for life, both MJ and the kids. I refuse to believe in bad things about people until I get really first hand proof. I realized this makes me subject to con artists and heart-breakers. But then again, I don't readily trust people either. I'm careful with lending money. With love, well, let's just say that I know my truth and that's the only thing that concerns me. If the guy plays around, its really his loss - hehehe. So I'm naive. BARNACLES AND TARTAR SAUCE!

Finally finished One Hundred Years of Solitude. Been reading it for six weeks. It was required reading when I was in college and I swore it was the most difficult book I've ever read. I couldn't finish it then because there were too many unreal things and I hated my Humanities teacher for choosing it as part of the course. But writer friend says its his favorite book. Then another councilor-friend from Leganes said its a must read. Which got me curious again. Why all the raves about a book I really hated? Then Oprah's Book Club was the last straw. I bought it. I read it. Slowly because Gabriel Garcia Marquez demands undivided attention. And vacation and kids sort of demanded the same. But when I turned the last page, I love it! Realized that everyone has in one way or another, a means to be and a need to be solitary. No man is an island they say. But everyone draws invisible circles around themselves to keep people away. I know this. I do it when I write and when I'm deep at work on a project. I do this when I grieve. I do this then I'm selfish. I also do this when I'm deeply in-love or when I'm in a silent rage. I also do this when I feel close to God or when I can no longer feel Him. So you see, we are more solitary that we thought we were. And it's not such a bad thing at all. Well ... most of the time it's not a bad thing. So I'm alone. Big deal. BARNACLES AND TARTAR SAUCE!

Been making the pain on my wrists even worse by non-stop tweaking on a new look for my blog. My Blog will turn a year old on July so I think it deserves another make-over. Don't want ready-made templates for it but I thought I'd create my own simple look without driving my readers crazy. I have this idea of posting new pics on my header every month, which those who have my header pic as links would not be too happy about. But it's the best way to show my pics without having to post something about it. Anyway, have realized that showing my blogs to my nieces is not such a good idea. It limits the things I want to talk about. But maybe it also challenges me to be more transparent to those close to me. I didn't want to be found out. But maybe there is a good reason for all this. Ouch! My wrists hurts! BARNACLES AND TARTAR SAUCE!

I'm down to my last 20 pesos. Gave my last money to pay the maid's salary. Payday will be next week and I have to live on 20 pesos. Hehehe. It's not even enough to get me to work tomorrow but I don't want to worry. I think I've trained myself to stop worrying about such things. I'm not being fatalistic and I'm not the type to say "God will provide" just to make myself feel better (although I do believe in that in most cases). I just don't want to worry about finances anymore. I refuse to. They add lines to my face and turn my head white. I will find a way to get to work tomorrow. I will find a way to go through 7 more days till payday. I believe that there are worst things that could happen, and a 20 peso bill in my wallet is not one of them. Maybe I am living Master Yoda's advice. Letting go of everything you consider valuable. Grin. Maybe I'll just start worrying tomorrow. So I'm broke. And for the last time ... BARNACLES AND TARTAR SAUCE!

I'm hungry! Gonna get me barnacles and tartar sauce.

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