It's not happening. You can get through this. All you have to do is bury yourself with work. Remind yourself to put one foot in front of the other. So you're in a daze. That's ok. You've been through this before. It should get easier. It shouldn't last. You'll wake up and it's all just a bad dream.
A nightmare. But it's not.
You should go cut your hair, right now! In fact, just shave it all off. It will make you feel better. You should erase everything from memory. Be rid of all the baggages. Throw your energy into your madness. Grab something and kick it. Hit the wall. It will be good to see anyhing break. Maybe it will give you relief. Maybe it will make you really tired that you don't have to think about him. Throw anything!
But I don't.
Maybe things can still work out. Maybe we can talk about it and make things right. Maybe it's not so bad. Long distance relationship sometimes work. There may be people out there who knows the secret of how it works. I don't mind being a cat lady. I may not be mom material anyway. Maybe if we just talk about it, it will be fine. We will be fine.
But we're not.