8.21.2005

Instances of Escapism

My thoughts in the past few days, in random order:

Was watching the Jay Leno Show last night and there was Ralph Fiennes being interviewed. I have a great fascination with English actors … or maybe it’s just the English in general. Among them would be Hugh Grant (eyes that makes you ahhh), Sean Connery (the intense I’m-in-charge look), Daniel Day Lewis (superb ak-tore) and Damian Lewis, the guy who played Lt. Winters in the HBO series Band of Brothers (because he seldom smiles and when he does, it’s like getting a broken light bulb to shine - hehehe). Maybe it’s the accent. Anyway, was watching Ralph Fiennes on TV and he was talking about not owning a car in London. And Jay Leno asked, how can he get around London without a car?! … Ralph candidly replied, "I own a bicycle". Imagine that. This gave me a picture of Sean Connery riding a bicycle in the end credits of the movie Finding Forrester; which reminded me of someone’s story of Sean Connery riding a bicycle in Boracay. Envision a notable actor going around London on a bicycle. Fascinating. I love people who don’t have a do-you-know-who-I-am attitude. I think we should all ride bicycles to work. Hmmmmm … that would be nice.

I spent my Saturday working. I’m beginning to think I spend my spare time working to avoid life. I’m losing touch with people. I’m broke so I’ve been spending my weekends at home. And working seems to be more interesting now – with all the designing I’m doing. But I’m becoming very absent-minded. I forget birthdays and appointments and people in general. Bad, bad, bad. I made this toothpaste banner for Scott in http://husbands.blogdrive.com, as part of my experiment with Photoshop; but now I can’t find it and I was suppose to email it to him. So I’m thinking of making a new one, and maybe one for his wife, too. Good people deserve good stuff. But I can’t find the time just yet because I’m escaping. I even forget time – but I like to work, work, work. I’m getting very boring. I should really go out more. I wonder how my friends are. They are nice enough to keep in touch and check if I’m still breathing. But still I don’t make any effort to call. I’m getting really weird. I really have to call my friends after I post this thing.

I also didn’t post for last week’s Photo Friday challenge. I don’t have a picture of anything Violet. Now this is why I wanted a digital camera. So I won’t need film and just shoot the moment. But you really can’t have everything. My semi-boss lent me this 105mm camera lens and several filters when he found out I was interested in photography. Was so excited to try it but when I took it home, it won’t fit my camera. Bummer! I was already imagining the possibilities of the 105mm lens. The possibilities will have to stay in the imagination for a little while longer.

I tried selling my CD player to get some extra cash. I figured, no CD player would mean extra cash, less electric bill. I was hoping for three thousand but this guy, knowing that it’s a season to take advantage of the disadvantaged, offered me 700. Na-a! Decided NOT to part with the CD player. It took me 6 months to pay for that thing and I’m not going to give it up for a measly 700 pesos. So life goes on.

A friend of mine sent me this picture: The difference between men and women. I totally agree. Makes me feel good that women cry. With all these knobs, there has to be an outlet in case we explode when we overheat. I like it that we find life complicated, yet long for its simplicity. Men with their one-track-mind. Women with their hormones.
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Just finished a book called Girl’s Night In. It’s a collection of short stories by different women authors in varying stages of womanhood. I have two favorites:

One: Alisa Valdes-Rodrigues (The Cat Lady) wrote:
Dear Self: If you are still single and haven’t had one good date in the preceding two years, you must admit the search is over. Get rid of the belly shirts. Toss the miniskirt. Save yourself a future of humiliation and too much makeup and realize one important truth: You are now a cat lady. Love Teresita.

Teresita wrote this to herself when she was twenty-two. She opened the letter when she turned 35. Guess what? I’m turning 35 this year. CAT LADY???!!! But I don’t like cats.

Two: Lynda Curnyn (Here we Are) wrote:
“Do you think some people were meant to be alone?”
“I think some people were meant to be alone.”
“I’m being serious.”
“I’m being funny.”


I like it when women are portrayed not as helpless, needy, damsels in distress, but as strong, conflicted, have-no-clue-but-getting-on adults. I like it when both sexes play around with their differences yet somewhere in the middle of it, they find a connection. I like it that I’m a needy, helpless, conflicted, have-no-clue-but-getting-on, not-so-strong damsel-in-distress … adult? I’m being serious but I’m also being funny.

I had a dream the other night, of giving birth. I can’t remember if I found it painful although I think I did weep. I was married ... to a very tall, curly-haired, blue-eyed guy. (smile) Even in my dreams, I escape.

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