4.04.2006

Made for this

Hello readers. Been up and working like a dog for a week. The parasites gone and I hope he never comes back. As for me, life has been moving quite fast. I go to the office, and before I knew it, the clock strikes five. Did I say that I'm so enjoying my work? There's nothing like doing what you love. Lucky are we who found such calling. Anyway, the week in review:

Got a new cabinet and a side table - unpainted (don't have the money to paint it yet) -- a friend of mine made them for me. He found his third love, a new hobby called carpentry. And when he gets off work (an Engineer), he enjoys sweating before a piece of wood and shaping it like a sculptor would a stone. My cabinet is a labor of love. This friend volunteered to make the cabinets.I paid only for the materials. He did everything, acquired wood from the lumberyard, even bought the handles and after 6 days, had my cabinet delivered to my door personally. HE wakes up early morning to saw. hammer and screw everything in place. All that in between wife and kids and working an 8-hour job. I owe him dinner. God must love me to bless me with such great friends.

Ex-bf went by the house last night to chat. He's married now. And we chatted like old friends. No bad blood between us. He seem happy. I know I am. I was telling him that I haven't been to church for a while. We discussed my unholiness. I told him i like not having to pretend I'm good all the time because I know I'm not. Getting out of the church group has granted me a sense of freedom to be ironic, sarcastic, and frank. But the truth about it is, I've also become more sensitive to people and more relaxed. I don't want to be a hypocrite although I will always be at times, but I think I've become less so because I didn't have be a model to people. The problem of being a church leader is that you have to practice what you preach. And I did that for some time. And maybe I needed to go through that, and I do appreciate going through that experience. But now, I feel that I'm true to myself. That if I think bad thoughts, that doesn't necessarily make me evil, but just human. God still is a great part of my life. He is the conscience that tells me when I am bad and then I am guided to act accordingly ... or at least know when I have become selfish. It may be a bit self-centered but this sense of acceptance has given me more peace than any sermon or gospel can ever bring.

1 comment:

Manang K said...

i can totally relate with your "unholiness" and staying friends with an "ex".