11.30.2006

Don't take my sunshine away

A friend said I should post something. I agree. It's been a looooooooooooong week and I'm looking forward for at least one day break. Which will come tomorrow. But that would depend on a lot of things.

My cousin died last Sunday. And as customary and normal behavior in all families, we gather and grieve, and as unusual and strange in my family, we laugh away our sadness through ironic jokes and frank observations. We find strength in being oddly funny. Its just the way we are. So I've been spending my nights at the wake. Sometimes coming home late or a bit late, depending on the itinerary I will be having the next day. I'm exhausted and on the brink of an asthma attack. But some things are just not meant to be finished or done at just the right moment. Move on. One foot after the other. That's just how it works.

My niece will be out of the hospital within the week. She's still not fine. She's well ... but we might have bigger problems in our hands.

Today I met another client for a website. My second so things are picking up. Yup, it pays to advertise. So I plan to finish two web templates by next week, God willing.

I also need to select 30 pictures I took to write on a cd for Saturday for a photographer's gathering. I need it to apply to a certian photography club. And I have a Photo 2 class on Saturday. My room is a mess and that needs cleaning. My book is halfway read but haven't had time to read anything. Javascript still awaits. Hmmmmm ... too many to-do stuff. I should make a list like Cyro. Maybe tonight. I have too many things on my mind right now. A list will not organize them ... not today.

December starts tomorow. I can't feel Christmas. But I'm too old to look forward for Christmas anyway. No gifts this year. Is that legal? Hehehe.

I have a kick-ass playlist in my i-tunes. All my favorite blues, soul, guitar and rock music. I could just drown myself in this playlist and I'll survive any crisis.

Please don't take my sunshine away - Ray Charles. Oh yeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaah!

11.21.2006

Roller Coaster Ride

Im having a hard time writing. I found out my brother reads my blog. LOL. I might need to change addresses again.

Finished another book: Gail Tsukiyama's The Language of Threads. I found it entertaining but I don't like the way she told the story. Too simple and too ... chronological. I don't know. It just didn't work for me. I'm now on my next book: J.D. Salinger's Catcher On The Rye. Yey!

Helped out in a flower congress last week. I am not very good with plants but I have decided that I'm in love with daisies. They showed these great huge daisies grown by a Dutch guy. I just loved the colors. Daisies are such cheerful flowers. I think I'll add daisies to my favorite flower list: 1. tulips; 2. roses; 3. daisies.

My family got together last Friday to celebrate my Dad's birthday. All seven of us siblings were here including spouses and children. First time since my mother's death 3 years ago. You know how you have problems with your siblings but can't shake them off because you are connected with blood. Well it was like that. All warm and joyful. And sad and bad. Still, I love it that we got together. It warms the blood. Felt sad when all went their separate ways. There are always too little time when it comes to reunions.

You know how a good thing is sometimes followed by something really bad. Like getting a reward and in exchange, receive a punishment for that reward. Sigh. Today, I stayed at the hospital all day. I'm alright. But my niece isn't.

Life is a roller coaster ride.

11.13.2006

Drawn By Desire

Finished the book English Patient and Umberto Eco' How To Travel With A Salmon. Love both.

It's going to be a very busy week. Sometimes I can't stop to think but just do one task after the other. It's therepeutic somehow. But I miss my rest. And I will miss my books. Just started a new one but looks like I won't be able to touch it till next week.

Two choices:
1. Leave everything familiar to you, live independently without the comforts of home to pursue love, and take a job which you detest although it may not be permanent, live as a second-class citizen but have the opportunity to live your dreams after ten years.

Or

2. Stay with everything you love deeply, live like a queen, Go to a job you enjoy and never feel like you're working everyday of your life but never have the opportunity to make your dreams come true.

In a map that Singh found in Lord Suffolk's room:
"Mapped by R. Fones. Drawn by desire of Mr. James Halliday."
"Drawn by desire ..." He was beginning to love the English."

English Patient, Michael Ondaatje


I am drawn by desire. Hehehe.

11.12.2006

untitled #52

Been busy all week preparing for this floriculture congress. It will be a busier week this week because of the Congress. But I'll be staying in a hotel the whole time so that should take away any other thoughts bothering me. Wish I could take my computer with me but I will have plenty to do and no time to go blogging or work on new interests. And I had these ideas I want to see in print but just don't have enough time. I guess it can wait a week. I volunteered for this. I needed a change of pace and scene. But it's becoming more work than I expected and is costing me more than I'm earning. Oh well, we have to live by the choices we make.

Viking and I had a short talk last weekend. I've been offered a big choice and even bigger choices to make soon. Right now I just can't think about them. I've been weighing all the pros and cons. I know what I want. But I'm terrified. When the time comes, I will have to face my fears and just take a leap of faith.

I'm home alone today. Again I bask on the silence. And I've developed a liking to Nacho Cheese flavored tortilla chips with raw tomatoes. Mmmmmm. I think I'm going out to read a book. It's too hot to stay indoors today.