8.05.2008

Be careful what you ask for?

I sometimes fall into a bad habit of feeling sorry for myself. I try to snap out of it when I can. I know that it doesn't lead to any good and it contradicts my philosophy about the laws of attraction.

First, I was physically sick and had to be absent again from work - asthma, coughing, nausea, diarrhea, vomiting, fever. I had to take medicines with side effects of the same. Second to that, I have never received so much job orders all in one week. Eight all at once. I had to turn down some of them. Third, there is added stress of the state of the house after the flood. It is literally falling apart. Having no bedroom door is no joke at all. And fifth, we had an alumni homecoming taking place that weekend. So it was no surprise that after that week, I got pretty stressed out and could not hold anything down. The two good things that came out of it, was I was forced to get tests and lost some weight without much effort.

I'm back at work now and feeling much better. My first foreign job ended the week I was sick - quite short and I'm ashamed of not being able to do it right. But my body couldn't take it anymore. I'm currently finishing 3/4 of my second foreign job. And this one I'm quite proud of. Have two pending website jobs awaiting data (which reminds me, I have to redo my contracts), another one coming in and two more print jobs. To say I'm busy is an understatement. But I've learned to force myself to relax. I don't do any work if I feel bad about something. I am never productive or inspired when I'm stressed. And I did say that my own business is supposed to be enjoyable because I have passion for it. I promised myself I will stop when it stops being fun. And my last two weeks was no fun at all. But I am meeting deadlines and schedules of present jobs which is a good sign.

I've been trying not to turn down jobs. With the state of the house, I really need a large amount to fix it. But if it would end to me getting sick again, I will gladly turn it down. I'm going to put health first because being sick is definitely not enjoyable.

I started out feeling good about the jobs I'm getting. But I got so stressed, I wonder if this is God mocking me. Be careful what you wish for?

At the very least, I now have proof that the law of attraction works. Hahaha. And yes, I will be more careful what I ask for next time :)

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