4.02.2010

Beauty

I've spent the whole afternoon editing pictures of a beautiful girl to make her picture perfect. As I was doing it, I started to reflect on the body's imperfections and started to love every wrinkle in my face - LOL. I know I would like to be younger, more healthy. more fit and YES, have the body of an image model - or at least her height. But I also realize that every wrinkle in my face represents the bit of wisdom I've acquired through the years. And every scar is a token of somethings survived or a reminder of a past mistake I promised not to do again (but end up doing again anyway LOL). I'm glad this model needed a make-over. Her wrinkles, though I had to hide them, revealed what she had gone through and survived. Makes her more human that way. Makes her more like me - well, maybe a hundred pounds lighter LOL.

While doing this job, I argued with myself a lot. It goes with the territory if you're working alone freelancing. I wanted her to be beautiful. But I also wanted her to be real. A smudge can make so much difference in Photoshop. But do I really want to smudge it there? I know people like looking good. I just wonder if people ever thought that being real is so much better? I follow a lady photographer's blog, and the pictures I really like are the ones where it doesn't hide the person's flaws but it's the flaws themselves that adds beauty to the picture. That's why I really like portrait photography and like to draw people. There's a story behind every line.

Speaking of stories, had client meetings during the week. Talked to a new client, a black British businessman. I usually talk to foreign clients over email and IM or Skype. Most of the time, I just meet up with my local clients to talk of projects or make a pitch. This guy was here for business so I got to talk to him without having to type my words. Which was weird.  I realized I was less nervous speaking to foreigners than I was speaking to my local clients. And I was not intimidated at all. Which was also weird because I always tell my friends that foreign clients tend to give me more stress than my local clients. Maybe because they demand so much? Not true really. Maybe I just give more pressure to myself with foreign clients than with local ones. Is it because they pay more? That's not true either. Maybe in my mind, there are more opportunities with them when it comes to service? One thing I know, this business is broadening my horizons quite a bit. And I like having a better view of the world from where I'm at.

I should blog more. But I've been busy. That's not really an excuse but can't help it. I have very little to say nowadays. Well, that's not really true. I have plenty to say. I just don't say it here quite as often as I should. I'm currently trying to give my life more balance. It's a struggle but it might result to less time with the computer and more time with reality. ; )

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