11.15.2010

Letting God

I've been carrying around a lot of anger these past few months that it has consumed me. It's no wonder that I feel tired and heavy all the time. And what's worst, I think I was also responsible for feeding that anger or allowing people to add to it.

It's timely too that this Friday, we will be having a Reunion concert of the church group I so dearly love. No matter how much I question religion and its practices, I still believe in a Catholic God and I worship him in ways I feel is right to me. In the end it's all between you and you're God. So after practicing for the concert last Saturday, I realized that I can no longer carry this resentment with me. I needed to let God. Hehe. Good thing he is All Mighty right?

So after working late on a website Saturday, at 3am, I poured out all my anger in prayer. I felt I needed to cleanse myself of all my resentments. It was bloody. LOL I had a lot of reasons to be angry. But being angry gets me in more trouble now and it's making work more burdensome. So I'm letting God carry the burden for now. These things take time to heal but I will battle hate this week. I cannot forgive yet. That will take awhile. With all that had transpired, it may even take years. But I will try to be less vindictive. And I will be more patient with this person and with myself. God cannot make miracles overnight.

I feel so blest with friends and more blest with family. I have everything I need. I think I'm surrounded with a lot of goodness and goodness begets goodness. I shouldn't let negativity take the best of me.

For now, all I can do is avoid negativity. I cannot promise to be silent when I think something is wrong. But I will stretch my patience longer. And I will try not to let my anger rule me. I will let God.

The kids will be singing this song in the concert. It's my mantra for the week: LOL.



I know I sound boring when I get all prayerful LOL. Maybe we just need to rest from all the profanities for now. ; ) Profanity will not help my dancing -haha.

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