Years Fly

The CROSS Tambourine Dancers way back ... 1997? I'm on the back row, third from right.
A friend of mine asked me to dance again for a concert. Now before you raise that eyebrow, let me just tell you that I'm not much of a dancer - but I can dance. I have rhythm and in my time, was part of a group who volunteer themselves to dance in public - hehe. And some people surprisingly think I can dance. It's one of my childhood frustrations - to be a ballerina, like my friends Emily and Sheila - minus the sores on their feet from wearing toe shoes. But no, I guess my purpose in this life is to work in front of a computer and not in front of an audience.

When I was active in my church group, I used to teach the tambourine dance to younger teens. It was a form of worship and prayer, and I like that I can do that through movement. Of course, I was about twenty pounds lighter then but I loved doing it.

So, fifteen years later, a friend asked me to do the same thing again, with a group, for a fund-raising next week. I said no. I couldn't imagine myself dancing. I feel fat, and too old to do those things again. Plus I was busier than ever - with three website design jobs and a waitlist, plus my day job - I didn't think I can teach, much more make time for practice. So NO, I can't do it.

Now, my BFF called me, she's a dancer too, and said that she said yes when asked because she was given the impression that I said yes. And she tried bribing me with cake and baked lasagna so that I would change my mind and go dance with her. Looking at my schedule, I was convinced that there is just no way I was doing it. I said I was not making any promises but that I will show up to help in whatever way I can.

You know how sometimes you get signs about things that pushes you to do things you do not want to do? The world conspiring - and all that shit?! LOL. Well, I saw Jennifer Grey (from the Dirty Dancing flick) doing a number in the show Dancing With The Stars. She's 50 years old. And she was as graceful and terrific, moving like she did 27 years ago. And the next day, Lisa Macuja decided to dance in ASAP - and I know she's much much older than me. Sigh. Made me think.

So I showed up for practice yesterday. They gave me a tambourine with the usual ribbons. My bribe - chocolate cake and baked lasagna - were pre-heating in the oven. And when they played the music, everything just came right back. Yup, I'm turning 40 and I can still dance. :) Serves me right to start thinking I'm too old to do anything at 40.

Now, because I still have a busy full schedule within the week, I will have two more practices before the performance (we used to have everyday practices for a month!) and then dance on Saturday with six other dancers. My only problem is buying the ballet shoes, and fitting in my dress LOL.

But I'm thinking again. And I'm having dangerous thoughts involving a bat. I blame my BFF. Jennifer Grey and Lisa Macuja. And I go back to feeling old again. LOL. Sigh. It's a cycle. I might need a new batch of chocolate cake and lasagna. :D



In honor of Toto Mel and Ma'am Elvira Tabobo, my junior year high school english teacher:

I have nothing to write :) wehehehe.

he has though: Nothing to Say


Email Scam Spam

I'm sure you've received bogus email from people spamming your inbox asking for money in an emergency, or that you won in a lottery, or by some miracle, you inherited an insane amount of cash from someone you've never met.

The letter below was sent to a Photoshop E-group of which I'm a member. It goes:
How are you doing and how is everything. I like to inform you that I came for a program here in London but I am having a terrible expirience here, I was robbed off my small bag containing my cash and my credit card in a taxi when I was returning to my hotel room, My stay here was extended due to some important meetings i needed to attend. At this time am totally out of cash and I need to pay my bills at the Hotel and also procure some important paper work for the program I came for. I have contacted my bank for funds transfer, but they said nothing can be done because i will need to sign some papers before funds can be transferred to me here.

Please I need you to lend me the sum of $2,800, till I return home, I will need you send it to me via Western Union Money Transfer or money gram with this information. Name: Ramon Aguilar,  Address:- Mollard Hotel, Milton , Wokingham , RG41 5QG London , UK .

I am sorry for any incoviniencies this may cause you, I promise to make refunds to you as soon as i return. I have my hope on you please don't let me down, send me the informtaion from western union after sending it.

I am waiting to hear from you,

Kind regards
Ramon Aguilar
And here's the reply he got from one of the members:
Dear Ramon,
What a coincidence! I just happen to be in London on the same conference and staying in the same Hotel Mollard as you........ Not only will I be happy to loan you the $2,800.00 you ask for, but I will also advance you a further $10,000.00 in cash as I wish you to also enjoy a few extra days in the U.K. on holiday as my personal guest! To collect the $12,800.00 in CASH, meet me in the mens toilet of the basement parking lot under the Hotel. Be there at precisely 20 minutes past midnight tomarrow...... I will await you in the 3rd cubicle from the end. Come alone, as I am a bit shy, but assure you that I am an honest fellow and will have the cash waiting your arrival.

Thank you so very much for spamming the PhotoShop Techniques user group, as I would not have been able to offer you my hospitality without your request. REMEMBER, come alone and bring a large bag to carry the CASH I promise I will have awaiting you..................
Can't wait to see the look on your face when we finally get to meet, face to face..............
In all honesty and trust, I remain,
Curt H.
And a courteous response from yet another member:
That is very nice of you Curt. I couldn't find a local Western Union to transfer the money. Please give my regards to Ramon, when you see him by the third stall of the downstairs bathroom. I had thought of going to that conference as well, but didn't get signed up in time.
 Hehe. Nice to have caring and helpful people in this group :)


The Litany

By Billy Collins

You are the bread and the knife,
the crystal goblet and the wine.
You are the dew on the morning grass
and the burning wheel of the sun.
You are the white apron of the baker,
and the marsh birds suddenly in flight.

However, you are not the wind in the orchard,
the plums on the counter,
or the house of cards.
And you are certainly not the pine-scented air.
There is just no way that you are the pine-scented air.

It is possible that you are the fish under the bridge,
maybe even the pigeon on the general's head,
but you are not even close
to being the field of cornflowers at dusk.

And a quick look in the mirror will show
that you are neither the boots in the corner
nor the boat asleep in its boathouse.

It might interest you to know,
speaking of the plentiful imagery of the world,
that I am the sound of rain on the roof.

I also happen to be the shooting star,
the evening paper blowing down an alley
and the basket of chestnuts on the kitchen table.

I am also the moon in the trees
and the blind woman's tea cup.
But don't worry, I'm not the bread and the knife.
You are still the bread and the knife.
You will always be the bread and the knife,
not to mention the crystal goblet and--somehow--the wine.


I saw this poem being recited by a small child in the Butterfinger website. I loved it and just had to share it. I also would like to be the "evening paper blowing down an alley". Don't really know why. I just do. Haha.

Sunday today. I need to do overtime work at the office. And I need to work on a website. I don't know what to prioritize but I need to do both. I wish I was the bread and the knife and not the house of cards :)


devour, deliberate, devote

I've been reading - or rather listening to the audio book "Eat Pray Love" by Elizabeth Gilbert. I started it right after a friend's bbbbbbbreak-up. Which goes to say I gave too many unwanted advice, narrated too many learned lessons and experiences before the book. So I found the book quite interesting because evrything I've been telling my friends about God, soulmates, religion, approach to life and depression were echoed in the book. And I said to myself, "Oh goodie! Someone actually agrees with me!" So I recommend reading it to women ... or men ... in their  mid-life who thinks they have seen too many bads,and have taken too much effort to look for the goods. It would be the journal I would write if I was as good a writer as Elizabeth Gilbert. And I didn't even have to go to Italy, India or Indonesia to learn those truths. They unfolded themselves in every experience and learned from everyone I meet.

There's that noteworthy part of the book about Liz crying in the bathroom while the husband is asleep. I went through that, only on top of my bed (er, no husband), in the middle of the night, fetal position weeping. And I heard the same words, "Go back to bed" - only in Hiligaynon - from deep within myself. And that it was the most practical thing I could tell myself that night. And I slept exhausted but I had surrendered myself to whatever comes when I wake up.

And don't get me started about my thoughts on God, heaven and hell - sigh - Liz Gilbert Knows LOL because I have those same thoughts - except I'm Catholic. But I would like to embrace God in all forms of religion. And I would preach that God does love me - encompassing, unlimited, unconditional. I believe God thinks I'm precious ... and I make him laugh ... so yeah, I'm pretty special. And you are too, if you can only believe that truth.

And soulmates. Yes, about those, let me just quote from the book:
People think a soul mate is your perfect fit, and that's what everyone wants. But a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that is holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life.

A true soul mate is probably the most important person you'll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake. But to live with a soul mate forever? Nah. Too painful. Soul mates, they come into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself to you, and then leave.

A soul mates purpose is to shake you up, tear apart your ego a little bit, show you your obstacles and addictions, break your heart open so new light can get in, make you so desperate and out of control that you have to transform your life, then introduce you to your spiritual master..."
See? Sounds like me - only written better :)

I just love people who thinks the way I do. It just confirms that I'm not the only crazy person in the world. And in our similarities in thought, we also find we are unique - the one and only :)

I should write more about this but not now. My thoughts are somewhere else, between me and someone else LOL! Geez, I wonder if God plans to drop me a David, or can I hope? - a Felipe LOL :)

Read the book sister. You'll know what I mean.