Ding ding ding didi-ding-ding

I'm under pressure. I have had a wedding, funerals (yup more than one!), plane tickets, expenses, website projects, birthday parties, Dinagyang duties, pasalubong, payrolls, work on my mind for the last few days. That's a lot to think about. What more, I need a dress for the wedding - an issue which I had set aside because I thought I can get away with wearing a pair of formal pants to my brother's wedding; but apparently, as sister of the groom, I was told that I would look under-dressed next to my female family members who would all be donning a skirt for the occasion. I will need a dress by tomorrow.

I'm obviously not a girly girl. But I need a comfortable dress. I saw a very expensive dress at Options which actually fit - it's a bit dark for a wedding but it's blue and black so more or less near the wedding motif and more or less me. Or I could just buy a cheap dress but I haven't found anything that fit, anything I like or anything formal enough for a wedding. So here I am arguing with myself if I should buy the expensive dress. I figured it would be an investment, I would now have a wedding uniform to wear in all the weddings I'm to attend - of course I'd probably opt for a pair of formal trousers if I can get away with it but a dress is surely something every girl needs right?

I'm under pressure. Ding ding ding didi-ding-ding.


Don't Dare Me

Been working nights trying to get some things done when all my projects are just coming in all at the same time. So trying to control the wave by dealing with the first few ripples first. I take breaks in-between by running after the baby who has discovered walking very fast in his walker. And he moves like a catfish. And at 8 months, he had started to bite and pull hair.

Anyway, was entertaining the kid by doing goofy dances when suddenly I started singing, "Ready to make you move, Step across the line, Touch me one more time, Don't dare me" from memory. I didn't even know who sang that song but I love that song and it was a blast from the past.

So I decided to google it and found the right lyrics and the Pointer Sisters in You Tube. What can I say, I was an 80s teenager. Life will not be complete without the Pointer Sisters.

I love this song. I love Jump for my love and the Neutron Dance. They don't make it like this anymore :) It felt so cool to dance with these songs back then. Haha.


On Committed

So I've been reading Elizabeth Gilbert's book, "Committed: A Skeptic Makes Peace With Marriage" all weekend. It's her follow-up to the recent hit "Eat, Pray, Love" which they made into a movie.

My friend gave it to me as a birthday present with a written note on the title page about "being committed to our addiction". My friends and I, in a recent get together has finally admitted our addictions - that we are Addicts to certain things, or certain someones. Amongst my friends, only one is married but might not be married for very long. It's timely that my friend picked this book as my 40th birthday gift. I, though still adamant about not getting married, also need to make peace with this institutional commitment which is holy matrimony.

Let me quote my personal favorite lines from the book. They are also the most obvious ones people learn but take for granted anyway. They might not mean anything to you but if read within the book, these lines will be appreciated in the paragraphs where they are at:

But for the very reason - exactly because she had chosen her spouse out of love - her marriage was more fragile than she realized. (I was not convinced about marriage at this point, and neither was Elizabeth Gilbert).

The Buddha taught all human suffering is rooted in desire. (Nyahaha! Don't we all know this!)

The Quaker teacher Parker Palmer once said of his own life that depression was a friend sent to save him from the exaggerated elevation of false euphoria that he'd been manufacturing forever. Depression pushed him back down to earth, Palmer said, back down to a level where it might finally be safe for him to walk and stand in reality. (This is something I can relate to right now so I marked it in the book).

Don't overthink this, buddy, okay? Just put one hoof in front of the other and you'll come out on the other side just fine. (I'm placing this on my desktop as a daily reminder of getting by at work).,

It is not we as individuals, then, who must bend uncomfortably around the institution of marriage; but rather, it is the institution of marriage that has to bend uncomfortably around us. (You have to read this in it's proper context to get the point but I want it here for posterity)

Rome, don't be an idiot tonight! (Haha. Great song to sing to your future spouse.)

Also, since I don't want to type the whole page here, please read the "really, really big issue of mine" - and mine too, on page 184-185. :)

Here are some more that might prove more useful to you if you are married or about to get married. I'm sorry if my quotes seems useless to you, but they are useful to me so bygones. Here's a link to a blogger who probably has even greater appreciation for the book Committed: Borrowing Wisdom. Because she wrote so many quotes from it :)

I'll be back to work tomorrow. I'm taking my quotes and making them my mantra for the week.


Changing the stars

Astronomers say I'm not who I was. Tsk tsk tsk. Now what?

My birthday usually borders between Sagittarius and Capricorn. I've always identified with the goat but I also find having the traits of the Archer. Now, astronomers says I'm really an Archer. Hmmm, I should look that up. Will get back to you when I find out who I really am. LOL.


A New Years Benediction

Because I feel so down and low and can't see any sun in my future, I've decided to give myself Neil Gaiman's New Year Benediction. It goes:
May your coming year be filled with magic and dreams and good madness. I hope you read some fine books and kiss someone who thinks you're wonderful, and don't forget to make some art -- write or draw or build or sing or live as only you can. And I hope, somewhere in the next year, you surprise yourself.
I also wish it on everybody; with a more fervent prayer to my good friends, this year.

May we find what we are all looking for :)


Life of a Henna Tattoo

Everytime I go to Boracay - which is quite often, I always wanted to get a henna tattoo but that never happens because I always ended up doing something else.

Last year. we spent the night there in Boracay. I just started reading the Stieg Larson's  Millenium series - the first novel was entitled "Girl With the Dragon Tattoo" and. I thought it would be a great time to try the henna tattoo. And how convenient that there was this guy called Jeff who was just outside our cottage inking anyone who was willing to pay a hundred bucks.

I chose a small butterfly design and while Jeff was painting on my leg, he showed me his original drawings which he offered to paint for a little extra. I told him I just really wanted the butterfly.

Now, if I really wanted a tattoo it would never be a butterfly. I thought that butterflies are really the easy way out. If I were an animal. I'd be a koala or a free-spirited mare. But they don't seem to to be very popular for quick and unplanned ink art. Anyways, I liked Jeff's original artwork to allow him to add free swirls to my now stained leg which grew from a butterfly to a more elaborate painting.

Maybe I forgot that I wasn't Lizbeth Salander, and that I wasn't smart enough to think about skin testing henna since I've always used it for my hair after a re-bonding treatment. To cut the long story short, after the ink faded into my skin (it usually last two weeks) and seeped into my pores, I developed a rash in the exact same shape of my elaborate butterfly. Not only was it itchy, it was so inflamed that not even my Earth and Me Boo Boo Cream can contain it - although it relieved the itch quite a bit.. I have yet to see a dermatologist to make sure it doesn't stay permanent. But right now, I have a brown abstract and ugly tattoo on my leg that hopefully, will dissipate in time.

Ah shucks, this will not look good in the new swimsuit. LOL..

Kids, don't try this at home. Get a skin test before you get that henna tattoo.

And try to remember that you're not the superhuman heroine in the books that you read. You're just the girl with the blotched up henna tattoo. LOL..


Early Bird

A quick post. It's four-thirty in the morning. Too early to get up. Too late to go back to sleep.

Trying to pass the time checking out twitter and blogs. I feel I'm sooo not ready for 2011. Just had so much fun these past few days that I haven't touched my computer as often as I thought I would. Which I think is a good sign that I will not overwork myself to death this year. Or at least I hope not. January already holds promise of new jobs. I also have a wedding to go to at the end of the month - not mine! So will have a short vacation to look forward to. 

Anyway, Happy New year Folks! And hope that this year will have less angst than last year - hahaha.