5.17.2011

Pride and Free will

When something is eating me, I would know. One sign is not being to solve a single puzzle of four suit spider solitaire in five tries. Another would be not being able to sit still to fix a problem in my pc or read a book. And the last would be escaping through movies or babies :) I've been doing both lately. I know I desperately need a break - just to keep my sanity - but it can't seem to come soon enough. There are days when I just want the earth to open up and eat me alive. But thinking back, if that ever is a possibility, I don't think I will ever say that last statement. LOL. No matter how depressed I am, I have to say I do want to live and see more of the world. But then again, there are days when you think you've seen enough and just want to - I don't know - puke?

I have to admit, I bore easily. I can't stand not doing anything. And more than that, I can't stand not being inspired. It's like I'm semi-bi-polar. My highs and lows are so high and so low. Sigh. Nanay said there will be days like these. It just seems like I'm having too many of it and I'm counting the days until I blow up.

Okay, enough of my gloomy disposition. I have a baby in the house. That is reason enough to get up everyday.

On another note, I've been reading a lot about pride. There's this logo designer I've been following, David. I love his designs and I love his thoughts. A few days ago, he wrote Tell Your Story. "No one sets you apart - It's you". I copied that on my notebook. I think it's inspiring to own up to your creativeness, your uniqueness, your identity as a person. And I also think it's daunting to own up to the responsibility of your creations, your decisions, your identity as a person. I always tell my kids (meaning all nephews and nieces willing to listen) to be proud of what they have done no matter how small it may be. I like people to take pride in their work and say that they have contributed a tiny part of themselves to the world to make it a better place. Some Christians think pride is the work of the devil - I think they are wrong. Everything has to be in moderation. Too much of everything IS the work of the devil. Or more importantly - work of our own decisions.

The movie Adjustment Bureau (stars Matt Damon and Emily Blunt) talks explores the idea of free will. Everyday we are faced by options. Do we really want things decided for us? Do we really want to be manipulated into thinking we did make the choice ourselves and not swayed by invisible forces? I think I celebrate free will. I also detest it and wish someone take responsibilities for the path I found myself in. But we are products of the choices we make - (parang Coke commercial?)

And since I'm talking about movies, I recommend Reign of the Assassins (Jianyu). I'm not even sure what language it is in since it has a multi-lingual cast: Jung Woo Sung (Korean, yes - I love love love him lol), Michelle Yeoh (Malaysian, Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon star), Barbie Hsu (Taiwanese, Meteor Garden), Shawn Yue (Hong Kong). I love the plot. I love the actors. And I love the symbolism of Wisdom (oooohhh) :) - it helps that he's good-looking too. Here, a leader decides who and what they do, until someone else decides who she is. I love this movie. I've watched it twice. I'm captivated by the flying and sword fighting. And the romance - well, I've always been a sucker for very unusual love stories. This one - sigh - is a must watch.

And one last movie before I go back to being boring, Gnomeo and Juliet, an animated film of the Shakespearean tragedy - but different. It contains voices of James McAvoy (Yup, I love him too), Emily Blunt, Michael Caine, Ozzy Osbourne, Dolly Parton among others. Here fate is decided by color - blue and red. Until two people decided they don't care if they're pink coz they're in-love. Another atypical romance. Funny jokes. Great 3D animation. Lovely characters.

Ah shit. Now I want to live in the movies I watch. I think I've hit bottom. LOL.

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