5.01.2007

Hay Buhay

I'm having a bad day. It's too hot to work and I just got the phone bill. I finally transferred it in my name because I promised my Dad that I'll take care of it. And since I got the DSL going, I thought that it would eventually be my responsibility. But I got the bill and there are charges there that I didn't make. So I feel bummed up again.

I feel like I finally took a step forward and got blown away and found myself reeling two steps back. I was saving my bonus for the operation and for paying for the router. The income I will be getting with doodle was planned to invest on stuff I will be needing for the business. But looks like it will all slip away from my fingers. I also haven't been paid for the overtime work (two of them) I've done for the company this April. I just can't seem to get by no matter how I try. Maybe I just feel more depressed than usual. I haven't done any serious shopping for a long time. I am angry ... because I can't do this. And I hate it! I really hate it. I just want a new pair of shoes. aaaaaaaaaaarrrrgggggggggghhhhhhh!

I really wish that just this once, I will be spending things on myself. Not on the house, or groceries, not on drinking water, not on the maid's wages, not on phone bills and business investments, but on my selfish, I-don't-need-to-take-care-of-anybody SELF.

I'm not going to Denmark. I think I knew that even before I admitted that to myself. I have too much too give up here. And I don't know if it's wise to live there.

It's labor day today. Isn't it ironic?

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