not happy, not sad

Spent the past few days serving for a church-community event. It was tiring and the tension was high. Most of the time, we had to come up with solutions to something we could have avoided if the event was planned better. But, thank God, it turned out to be quite a success. I miss being this useful. Most of all, I miss serving people without expecting anything in return. So basically, I've been angelically good. And I wish I was shallowly happy. :)

Well, it's not a complete loss. I could always be shallowly happy if I needed to be. And I had fun taking pictures. I wish I could take pictures all day and not have to pay for it - bwahahaha. Photography is such an expensive art. And though I can't exactly say YET that I am suffering for my art, I know I will get there sooner or later.

I'm back to the nitty-gritty. Tired. Sleepy. and almost broke. But I am at peace. That should count for something, right? At peace with the world. At peace with me. At peace with God. As a friend said during worship, I am not yet happy ... but I know I am no longer sad.

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