Passport

My passport expires end of this year. And there's this Singapore-Malaysia trip being planned just before the fourth quarter. My mind tells me I can't afford it. My heart tells me, I only live once. LOL. I've been to Singapore but never been to Malaysia. I've always wanted to visit Singapore again because there's so much to see there - and Malaysia - Yeoh! I mean Michelle Yeoh - enough reason why I should see Malaysia Truly Asia.

Now, see- I'm not some rich girl who goes abroad every other year. Most of my travels are funded by hard-earned freelancing jobs - of which I've lost sleep. A lot of my expenses were freebies from my brothers who are generous enough to let me see part of the world. Travelling it's not cheap. But it's a great way to open your mind. My parents were travelers - a very good reason why they ingrained curiosity among their children. So now the curiosity never stops. And why is my favorite question.

If I had my way, I'd like to travel locally too. But they say the cost of travelling locally is not more expensive than travelling on promotional tours outside the country. And If you have money to spend, you'd go for the one which you would rarely get the chance to go to, right?

Hmmm, do I give my passport another stamp before it is replaced? Or should I set my priorities straight and satisfy curiosity in other things?

I hate good choices.

Take A Break

I'm home today - a working day. I should have lunch at Jaro - there's this huge fiesta there and several friends have asked me to drop by. But I felt I needed to really stay home today since I will probably be working until Sunday again. I caught a cold last week and have been battling asthma since Sunday. I went to the office doctor Monday and been taking meds for anti-allergies, asthma, anti-biotics and for pains and faver. Four days into the meds and I'm still sick. A friend said that I had to take a rest. I told him that asking a workaholic to stop working is like asking a drug-addict to quit drugs. He suggested that I don't give myself time to rest and sleep. And yes, I'm guilty. So here I am at home and not working.

Anyway, while in bed, I watched Mammoth, a 2009 movie which stars Gael Garcia Bernal and Michelle Williams. I've read the reviews and was surprised that it didn't get that much attention. I love the movie. I do realize that a movie-goers disposition affects much of the movie experience, and I've heard people say that the movie made people guilty about working away from the family, and how judgmental it is. I do not agree with that. And I do not see that at all. A movie can mirror reality, but it was not meant to make people guilty of anything. If you get certain feelings in a movie, it's because you get hit by your own realities or of others but it certainly does not  call you evil. Movies just tell stories. Like books, we may hate them or we may love them. But judgement - that comes from our own experiences. There are movies that are banned because people say they promote a certain belief or culture not acceptable to society. Sigh. Wake up people, so does TV! Once we sensationalize something, we put it at the center of attention. I'd like to think though that movie-goers are given too little credit. We can think for ourselves. 

Let me not get started on the Corona Impeachment - LOL!

I just want to say that I appreciated the movie and I can relate to the characters there. We all have to make sacrifices to make our lives better. It will affect everyone around us, and our decisions may not always be right to others, but it will be our decisions and we all have to live with it. And I just want the movie to get the appreciation it deserves because I thought it was well-directed, well-written and the characters made a superb performance.

Okay I'm off. Time to gas out the bad elements from my lungs.

My Prayers

Last January:

Lord, help me understand that all good things in life that happen to me do so because I deserve them. Help me understand that what moves me to seek your truth is the same force that moved the saints, and the doubts I have are the same doubts the saints had. and my frailties are the same frailties. Help me so be humble enough to accept that I am no different from other people. Amen.

This February:

We are human beings, Lord, and we do not know our greatness. Lord, give us the humility to ask for what we need, because no desire is vain; no request is futile. Each of us knows how to best feed our own souls; give us the courage to see our desires as coming from the fount of your Eternal Wisdom. Only by accepting our desires can we begin to understand who we are. Amen.

Borrowed from Paulo Coelho's Brida

I'm back to work

Or that what I keep telling myself. I haven't been lazy. There's too many things going on it seems that I keep neglecting a little bit of everything. I did get some jobs done though but they were mostly edits and tweaks and nothing that required any artistic, dig-through-your-soul passion. So now, I'm back to work. Already have jobs lined up, about two probono projects and a few serious ones. I haven't had time to close my books yet but I'm projecting a bad verdict for 2011. Too many expenses although the income was alright. I'm now beginning to think I charge too small for my services but I don't really want to change my prices for now. It's a passion so as long as my bills get paid, money is really not that important. I have decided not to travel this year - at least that's the plan. I think I need to recover my losses for 2011. Last year I had Davao, Macau, Hong Kong and Boracay as major vacations and it made a huge hole in my pocket. But no regrets though. They were deserved and much needed. I've also given up coffee and sticking to water. I need to be healthy to work. Just finished a hectic weekend with Kasadyahan and Dinagyang Festivals. I stopped focusing on photography for now. Better photographers are around whose talents I really appreciate so I will leave it to them to produce the goods for the festival. Had a good time but a bit sun-burned. I have a wedding to attend to next week plus a mini-reunion with my yahyah friends. Everything's good. So I'm back to work today, Chinese New Year. to design two website templates. Kung Hei Fat Choi everyone :)

I know I should post something but I'm having so much fun this Christmas, I can't stop grinning.

A belated Merry Christmas to all and a Prosperous and Happy New Year :)

Pajamas that were made for me

I haven't posted anything for a loooong time. Life just got very hectic lately and I have too many things happening all at once. Anyways, I got these pajamas from BFF last night and I love them. They fit like they've been tailored for me - and that's usually rare for me with clothes.

Which makes me really happy to have really great friends and family tailored for me. I've been meeting up and re-connecting with old friends and relatives - and will probably be doing that for the rest of December. I have meet-ups scheduled until the 30th so it will be pretty tight but I'm looking forward to all of them.

Just wanna say that I'm very thankful and very lucky to have all these wonderful people around me and supporting me. I celebrate our differences and our likeness. I celebrate the years we've spent with each other. I'm just grateful to have them in bounty, that we are like-minded and share a wicked sense of humor.

Yup, these pajamas were just made for me. Wearing them makes me sleep soundly.

Hawaii Five Owwwwww

Saw this in You Tube and can't stop listening to it. Makes you want to grab a grass skirt and shake your booty all the way to kingdom come. My older siblings were fans. I never did like watching it because I was too young to understand it. But I loved the theme then and still love it now.

Started watching the new Hawaii Five Oh. Still love the theme. Not too impressed with the show though, It has it's moments. I'm on my second season.

My TV

I just finished watching the last episode of the first season of The Big C. Yup, I was weeping my eyes off as if I've just lost my mother. I am grateful to great writers and extremely in awe of great talent like Laura Linney. Still basking in the aura of storytelling, I thought it was time I do something cheeky. Like post an updated  list of my favorite American TV series :). Glenn, a family friend once remarked how our family can soak up ironic American humor. I asked him what he meant. He said that very few people can understand how you can laugh about something terrible happening in a House episode. Anyway, here they are:

CSI: Crime Scene Investigation. Las Vegas, the all original series. I like New York too but I detest Horatio. I only watch them when the other CSI shows when they somehow interlink with the Las Vegas. But CSI is my all -time favorite. Grissom is an interesting character and I like how he blends with his supporting staff (Catherine, Nick, Greg, Sara, Jim Brass and even the eccentric David). When he and Warrick left the series, it still remained a strong source of entertainment. Laurence Fishburn did not quite replace Grissom but still I found him a refreshing addition to the cast. You pick up a few curious tidbits about forensic science along the way. I don't know if I'll ever put them to good use but still it's good to know. The most basic thing I learned in CSI is that that you can identify time of death by just identifying bugs found in the body and lighted sticks can show you the path of a bullet. Really geeky but I love it. It's on its twelfth season  and still going strong.

Weeds. Nancy Botwin is a real unconventional mother and a huge BI. Not someone you'd want to get mixed into in real life. But her story is hilarious and exciting - although not in a good way most of the time. I used to follow the show because of Martin Donovan but his character turned out to be a real ass and I'm glad they had to kill him off. I still like Martin Donovan though.  The series is full of tense melo-drama that pisses you off when they end each episode because you;ll have to wait another week to see how it turns out. There's a stark contrast between the "good" life and the "bad" which is quite poetic in some way. But it's great and I love that just when you thought things are going to be alright, something else fucks up and you're back to the whirlwind of lies and drugs. Intense. Love it.

The United States of Tara. Deranged and sardonically lovable, Tara played by the talented Toni Collette is all-intriguing in all her disassociative indentities. Helps you appreciate being deranged to a totally new level. Add John Corbett as the insanely perfect husband, brings everything to a somewhat distorted balance. Maybe crazy people just live more interesting lives? Of course, my favorite identity is Tara herself. And the artwork in the opening credits - I love love love that. Tara is an artist - I connect with that. I think that this is one tiring series to act on if you're playing multiple personalities. But Collette played everyone quite well. Her daughter reminds me of my younger sister. :D

House. Hugh Laurie. Rude, Unreasonable, Crass, Abusive, Drug-Addict, Brilliant. My kind of guy. I love him as the modern day Sherlock Homes. I was not too happy when he got involved with Cuddy and was not too comfortable with seeing House in jail. I think he was more at home in a nuthouse but still, he's a funny guy and brutal as he may be, his reasoning is flawless :) I do miss Olivia Wilde though (13). But I like to see that there's a dry and humorless asian in the team. Makes you think of home. haha. Foreman to me is House' conscience and Wilson, his puppy. Taub is the funny guy and Chase the eye-candy.  :)

The Big C. The series that born this post. I'm happy to learn that there;s a second season and are planning a third. I love how American tend to tackle subjects that people would rather not talk about. So they talk about it and it's hilarious. And sad. And scary. But all the emotions are there which makes a hit of a series. Laura Linney is great as Cathy Jamison. And I've always loved Oliver Platt. And the Oncologist Dr. Todd ( Reid Scott) - sigh. Marlene somehow reminds me of older Audrey Hepburn for some reason. I dread it when they start chemo - I think that that will be difficult to watch but if they could make fun of death quite successfully, who knows what they could do with sickness.

Criminal Minds. If you like forensic science, then you will probably be drawn to serial killers as well. Again, I miss Gideon but Gibson has become a great leader for his team and Rossi adds italian sass, My favorite charcater of course is computer wizard Penelope, and the walking dictionary Spencer Reed. We often wonder why they describe the killer in the same way when they brief the police, each profiler taking turns to speak - one after the other. But its become tradition, much like the beginning and end quote of each episode. It;s here I learned that people of the same race have a hard time distinguishing differences on facial features in a police line-up. If you're an Asian witness, you'll have more difficulty picking up criminal in an all-Asian line-up than in an all-white line-up/ And when you're abducted, you're best chance of escape when they lock you inside the back hood of the car, it to break the taillights from the inside/ Of course, that's only applicable in America because most cars in the Philippines have broken tail lights. LOL.

And these are just the current top six. :)

Chasing Pavements

Current favorite. And I keep it playing in repeat1 :)

I've made up my mind, don't need to think it over
If I'm wrong I am right, don't need to look no further
This ain't lust, I know this is love

But if I tell the world, I'll never say enough
'Cause it was not said to you
And that's exactly what I need to do if I'd end up with you

Should I give up or should I just keep chasing pavements
Even if it leads nowhere?
Or would it be a waste even if I knew my place
Should I leave it there?
Should I give up or should I just keep chasing pavements
Even if it leads nowhere?

I build myself up and fly around in circles
Wait then as my heart drops and my back begins to tingle
Finally could this be it?

Should I give up or should I just keep chasing pavements
Even if it leads nowhere?
Or would it be a waste even if I knew my place
Should I leave it there?
Should I give up or should I just keep chasing pavements
Even if it leads nowhere?

Should I give up or should I just keep chasing pavements
Even if it leads nowhere?
Or would it be a waste even if I knew my place
Should I leave it there?
Should I give up or should I just keep on chasing pavements
Should I just keep on chasing pavements?

Should I give up or should I just keep chasing pavements
Even if it leads nowhere?
Or would it be a waste even if I knew my place
Should I leave it there?
Should I give up or should I just keep chasing pavements
Even if it leads nowhere?

Bite Me!

Haven't blogged for quite awhile. Been busy. Have projects lined up and good thing there's plenty of holidays this month.

So I created another secret blog (insert echoing evil laugh). It's my ... I dunno. I think I stopped counting after six but these things just come and go and they're a great outlet to vent off feelings. :)

For now, here's a pic of my baby boy - well, not really my own baby but someone I borrow from his mother now and then coz he's cute and adorable. Here he is getting ready for trick or treat. And here he is practicing his bite by hanging on my shirt. The costumes not complete yet. There's a motorcycle there somewhere. We have decided that he's too young for a gun and we couldn't find a leather jacket. He looks scary enough. Anyway, he made it a few blocks (Thanks to the motorcycle) before dangerously falling off because he was dozing from tiredness. Had to carry him home on my shoulder while pushing the motorcycle with other hand. But let me just say like a proud aunt, this boy can drive standing up. Of course, he doesn't know how to turn the handles yet but for a one year old - he rocks :D

Yes, I know. We distort their minds at a very young age. It's tradition.

Arrgggghhhh ...

I've always told myself that there is no room for idealist here. People are only human after all. But I can't accept that people can't change when they want to. For me that's always a possibility but it's probably a naive understanding of human nature. People will have excuses. People will want to stick to their comfort zones. People will always be stubborn. Like me.

A friend of mine posted this in fb: "All successful people these days seems to be neurotic. Perhaps we should stop being sorry for them and start being sorry for me - for being so confounded normal."

I am not happy today. And for once, I hate being the idealist. It's the winter of my discontent.