7.30.2004

because life does not stop for anyone

AAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

In an attempt to forget men (or this just one particular ANNOYING guy)and keep my hands away from Yahoo Messenger, i choose to drown myself in a web of words. It beats jumping off the sixth floor window. Or trying to keep a dry eye inside an office full of men. Or munch myself to death with 'hello' chocolates till I burst my seams. Or fight the urge to kill someone or go home and pretend to be sick - because I am sick, and insane. I've gone mad and there's just no cure for such a state. And it numbs the pain. I wish I was 38 years old and I can just self-destruct as I promised myself at the age of 13 - BOOM! Anything to end this gnawing endless, body-knife turning death.

And I type anything, desperate for comfort, for peace, for meaning, for relief, for anything that will get me out of this reality that seems to be "God-abandoned" ... because life does not stop for anyone.

But I'm not serious, of course. Life has got to have some drama - and a bit of exageration - hahaha. And after the tears ... you see the wonderful sky from the 6th floor window, or appreciate how sexy you look with puffy eyes, or notice that chocolates make you bloat, or the person you want to kill is not even worth your time, and you realize you do like being sick and insane. And you move on ... because God continues to turn night into day and ... because life does not stop for anyone.

1 comment:

Franchez said...

you have issues...