8.14.2005

Rant # 48

Because all I have is bad news, this must be Rant # 48. Not that I'm counting.

Spent the majority of my weekend working on 3 presentations for Monday. It would have been easier if I can do my presentations with a computer but the requirement was to give the presentation on Manila paper (and we’re suppose to be upgrading towards a more hi-tech era! Grrrrrrr!)

The reason I hate writing on boards is because I have the scribbles of a twelve-year old. I think I stopped writing with a pen on the day I learned to type. In high school, my friends didn’t find me useful on tests because they can’t read my handwriting. I stopped trying to use long-hand in 4th grade. If I have to write (which I do in journals) I use very miniscule letters to save time. They are so small you need a magnifying glass to read them. The small letters helps me write faster - shorter lines, less time. Sad to say I never tried to improve my hand-writing, There had been half-hearted attempts but when I decided I didn’t want to be a lawyer (they say you have to have great hand-writing when you take bar exams) and I also didn’t want to be an accountant (my 4 writes like a 9, so it confuses the sums) I gave up hand-writing. I felt relieved when computers and printers became a more acceptable form of communication.

So I’m stuck with marker pens, rulers and pencils to make a more readable presentation. A friend suggested I call in the ex to help out since he had impeccable scripts, but I can’t. It’s a bad idea to ask favors from ex-es who couldn’t even look at you because they blame you for ruining their lives. I bumped into him at a show last Thursday. I don’t think he would have talked to me if I didn’t say hello first. It’s been a year. I thought he would be over it by now but I guess not. Anyway, I finished my presentation with the help of letter stencils and a good eraser. I’m quite happy to have achieved something even though I’m not getting paid for overtime. Work helps me forget my problems and I’m having so many right now.

I needed to experiment on designs too because my boss is giving me more work on that, which I so like. Unfortunately, it’s an added work load but I really like doing it and don’t want to give it up yet because I enjoy it very much. So I’m stuck – with work I love and work I have to do. Sigh. I’ve given up on my social life too. I’m too poor to go out anyway.

My mother’s brother and sister are in town. There’s been a slight family bitterness going on. And although we had nothing to do with these disputes, we got somehow caught in the middle of it. So I really hate it that I have to tread carefully so as not to crush on someone else’s feelings. Apparently, the older you get, the more sensitive you become. So it’s like walking on quicksand. Sigh. We’re going to move my grandparents bones from the hometown cemetery to a more plush city cemetery. All my mother’s family will be there. And I’m expecting a thick air of bitterness between sweet words with my relatives. Too much bad blood in this side of the family. Bad blood created by the older generations and now being passed to nieces and nephews. Sad really. I thought that older people know better when it comes to preserving the peace. I don’t think even Bo Sanchez can patch this family together.

Oh, I had my braces adjusted. The first day was not so painful. Now I’m starting to feel the stress of the wires. I thought fuchsia colored bands would cheer me up a bit but they don’t really do much and I'm getting mouth sores with the tightness of new bands.

I need money. I need to pay my dentist, pay the maid’s salary and buy food. If I was born rich, I would probably have problems on how to spend my money. I'm poor so I know how to spend my money. I just don’t know where to get it. (To the Viking - it's still NOOOOOO!!!) Somehow, life usually takes care of itself. Pride will be my downfall.

On the upside: I have my presentation done, my teeth on it's way to perfect, my relatives still talking to each other, a time to blog and most of all, a very patient boyfriend. :) As long as there's an upside, I will survive.

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