10.25.2005

Now what?

Can't sleep.

Just finished talking to the Viking. He is off to get dinner. I just had coffee so I'm too awake to sleep. I wish I had his Que Sera Sera attitude. But the Capricorn in me feels safer with a back-up plan. But such things just can't be planned. Or must I surrender myself to fate or faith ... whichever comes first? "When the heart speaks, the mind finds it indecent to object" (Milan Kundera - yes, finally finished the book!) Sigh. Must learn to stop objecting and just go with the flow. Soon life will balance itself with the unbearable lightness of being anyway.

So what do I talk about now that I'm awake?

I got my lower braces attached last Saturday. The good news is I finally got rid of the mouth splint which has adjusted my jaw to some unseen angle. My dentist wanted me to keep the splint as remembrance since I've been wearing it for 10 months. I asked what for? Then tossed it in the trash. It never occured to me that I just threw away a remembrance of where a lot of my money went. But I didn't miss it enough to dig it out from the trash. :P

There is some face improvement due to the splint because I could see a sort of balance in my smile - which means I was probably having a slightly imbalanced smile for the past ten years of my life. lol. They say people judge beauty unconsciously by the symmetry of the face. If the right side of your face is the exact replica of the left, chances are ... people would consider you beautiful. Ah, the quest for beauty is actually a quest for balance. Aside from a prominent mole on my left eyebrow, I now have a balanced face. Grin. Hehehe. Call me conceited but I did suffer for it! Hahaha.

Except for the braces, I really think I now have a hell of a smile. Can't wait to get them all off, and it would take me ... sigh ... hopefully just another 6 months. Right now, I'm starting to feel the pains of teeth tightening and a wire grazing my inner cheeks and wounding it. I have to line cotton inside my mouth to protect my cheeks from wounding because dental wax can't protect them. But I have this ugly thought that I might swallow the cotton liining when I fall asleep. Eeeek! Again, beauty has it's price. Sometimes, I just can't see the point. Yet here I am right in the middle of the process. I can't really back out now, can I?

I need a good mouth by Sunday because I'm doing the reading for my friend's wedding. So the brace adjustment was not good timing. I need to learn how to talk without lisping by Sunday. I also need an outfit. I hate weddings. If I ever get married, everyone would be in jeans. :)

I'm hearing the damn neighbor's dog again. It's been howling for several nights now. And when it howls, it makes you feel like you're in some horror movie. Spooky really. Gives me goose bumps. So I hurry and turn on the mp3 player to drown out it's misery. It's too early for Halloween. Too early for me anyway. Shit! Now I'm starting to imagine things. Must think happy thoughts.

bluesky
Had a good day today. See the sky just outside my office window.

Damn that dog. Must go to sleep before I start seeing things.

4 comments:

:) said...

i'm not going to forget that jeans thing, girl. promise. and i'm assuming i'm always invited :D

-V

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