Don't think you can keep me down here!

Bumped into an old classmate yesterday at the mall. We started talking and she happened to mention that she works for the Open University. I told her of my interest to finish college when she dropped the bomb. She said they're offering a new course - the one I've always wanted but one they didn't offer when I started college because the concept didn't exist then. She said that if I can pass the requirements, she will help me to process my papers.

I was excited.
I was terrified.
I want it.
But I can't afford it.
But a diploma at last.
But it also means school work on top of two jobs.
It means studying on your own for three years.
It means I will have a chance to get a better job or get promoted when I graduate.

Hay! It's the coward in me cloaked in practicality and reasoning.

Conversations with the Viking:

me: should I or shouldn't I? I'm too old to go back to school.
Viking: you'll never be too old for that
me: so u think i should enroll? i will have to keep my two jobs to afford it. So It's gonna take a lot of work. and might continue for three years
Viking: of cause you should
me: im terrified but I really want it
Viking: as long as it wont kill you
me: what if it does? then all the work will go to waste
Viking: true
Viking: but two jobs and then lots of work on top of it. Can you manage?
me: At least I tried right? Finishing school is part of my top ten wish list. I thought that if I can't get the other nine, I tried to get at least one
Viking: well right
me: and die trying LOL
me: the irony
Viking: the text on your tombstone: DON'T THINK YOU CAN KEEP ME DOWN HERE!
me: LOL. I like that one :)

Encouragement comes in the strangest words sometimes.