Went to SM Delgado on my lunch hour yesterday to pay for my Globe Plan. On the way back, I dropped by the department store and stopped at the men's eyewear section. I like buying those cheap plastic prescription glasses they have there. Plastics are lighter to wear than wire-rimmed ones. And since they are cheap, I buy two or three to match with clothes - haha. Fashionista Wanna be! Who knew?

Anyway, saw this BYJ eyeglasses I wanted (so called because I saw him wear something like it several times) but they didn't have one with my prescription. I saw a cute brown one with weird stripes which I like that has my prescription. But decided against buying it because I really wanted the BYJ glasses.

So headed back to work with my old eyeglasses habitually perched on my hair like a headband. When I crossed the street, I decided to open my umbrella because it was super hot, and hit my head, and dropped the old eyeglasses. A passing jeepney crushed it to pieces. Sigh. I favored that pair pa naman.

But I now have an excuse to buy those stripped brown eyeglasses again :) Teehee! Wonder where I can get those BYJ glasses with my prescription on it. Hmmmm.

Sometimes, I'm so babaw, I amaze myself - hahaha.


So I'm back at work

And I'm bored. It is one of those days I guess. I find it hard to concentrate on the routinary. I can't focus on the obvious. I need something to happen.

Restless. That's the word.
And I don't know what to do about it.
I desperately need a challenge.
Something to move me.
Something to work for.
A goal perhaps.

I know why I'm restless.
I can't talk about it but it is constantly on my mind.
I can describe it but words probably won't do any justice.

There will be days like this.
I close my eyes and cling to the hope that this restlessness will soon subside or at least, find relief.

Yup, there will always be days like today.


Back to normal doubt

Well, maybe not normal ... but the semblance of normalcy. The past week has been ... taxing and probably the most unproductive week ever. It was almost like going back to the days after Baguio Frank. Almost. But not quite. Maybe if I'm no longer tired, or mad, I can tell you about it.

But that's over.
Survived. Endured. Moving on.

Lesson learned this week: It is harder to take care of aging parents than young kids. Kids obey. Parents ... don't.

The Viking quoted something to me yesterday. I think it goes:
Old people BELIEVE everything.
Middle-aged people DOUBT everything.
Young people KNOW everything.

I doubt that. LOL.


Discovered twitter :) And I have plurk account, too. There is no end.


Tough Love

There is such a thing as tough love.
Probably the hardest lesson to learn and the hardest kind of love to give.
But it is also out of love that it is given.
And also out of love that it is deemed necessary.

My heart is breaking for all the right reasons.
I am stressed, tired and depressed.
And I really hate it.

But a warning must be learned,
a habit must be broken,
and a compromise must be reached.

We will be suffering the consequences of tough love for a few days.
Right now, I'm just too tired to think or do anything.
Until the message has been understood, we can do very little.

There is one thing I can do though.
I can be stubborn.
If you feel you are right, stand by it.
That much I learned from my father.


On Marriage ... to a job

I never thought of myself as a business woman. I always thought I'd suck at it. My former and favorite Brit boss used to advise me about making a business out of my "hobbies". To go full time. I told him I was afraid I might actually succeed. He didn't understand what I meant. I'm not sure I did either. But I had this eureka moment this morning. I realized what I was really afraid of. I was afraid that if I do succeed, the business would control my life. It would be like being married ... but to a job.

After meeting with an accountant, i was given a low-down of how to start a business. The first year, she says, you will be looking for your own clients. On the second year, you will be getting referrals. On the third year, clients would start looking for you and you will be having regular clients.

I'm on my third year. I made a 50% profit margin from 2007 to 2008 and tripled my job orders. And yes, I've started to believe that I am indeed succeeding.

Does this make me happy? Hell, yeah.
Does this scare me? A helluvah lot!

It's now time to make this business legit. The accountant says that once you start a business, there will be no turning back. There will be customer expectations. You can't just drop off from the face of the earth whenever you want to. They call it "client responsibility". It's like having a husband and kids ... but it's a job.

When I started earning for my "hobbies", the goal was quite clear. I even stated it in a business plan. The primary reason of DWG is to enjoy the opportunity to create, for it to be an outlet for my weirdness, a product of learning ... and make a profit while doing it to be able to sustain that joy. It is supposed to be fun. It still is. For now.

I turned to experts and here's what they say:

Arthur Golden: "A mind troubled by doubt cannot focus on the course to victory."

Albert Schweitzer: "Success is not the key to happiness. Happiness is the key to success. If you love what you are doing, you will be successful."

Albert Einstein: "Try not to become a man of success but rather try to become a man of value."

And for our very own wabbit wisdom, there's Bugs Bunny: "I don't ask questions. I just have fun! Don't take life too seriously. You'll never get out of it alive!"

I processed my DTI registration a few days ago. Next week I will be getting my mayor's permit. And then I will be applying for legit documents and receipts. For the life of me, I can no longer avoid this. It's like getting pregnant and realizing that you have very little options and a whole lot of obligations. I AM marrying this job.

Does this make me happy? You want the truth?
I am not so sure. I want the outlet. I like earning for myself. But I still don't want to be married ... even to a job. I love my freedom way too much.


OMG I'm related to this guy!

Would you believe? This is my 18 year old nephew singing at his mom's high school reunion. Shucks. I'm sooooo proud. Hahaha.

Paolo singing Jason Mraz I'm Yours

Paolo singing September by Earth Wind and Fire

Sigh. How they grow up soooo fast. Hikbi hikbi.


So it is

da: what are you doing?
me: i'm rationalizing fear and justifying guilt.
da: haha. you're thinking too much again.
me: i know. i know.
da: sometimes you just have to jump right in with your eyes closed.
me: that is foolishness.
da: THAT, my dear, is fun.
me: sigh. so it is. (closes eyes and jumps!)

So it is.