3.19.2005

A Jerry Mcguire Moment

I slept too early. So now I’m up at 3 am with nothing to do and unhappy with my life. Is this what they call the mid-life crisis?

Anyway, realizing that I can’t go back to sleep, I decided that I needed a direction, a way to go. So here I am researching about mission statements. I don’t want to rush into it so I thought I’d read about it first. It’s not new to me. I was tempted to write one when I first saw Jerry Mcguire. I love that movie, except for the part where Renee Zellweger said, “you had me at hello” – eeeyuck! Avoid the corny part. To each his own.

I wrote a mission statement once when I first joined my church group – a life purpose they called it, but I’ve since realized that my statements were much too vague and I’m the girl who’s into the specifics. Then I tried to make one while reading Rick Warren’s Purpose Driven Life. Made it to Chapter 12 then stopped all together. I know what I feel about self-help books. I don’t disregard the possibility though that if I do finish a self-help book, I might be able to quite literally ... to help myself. But I just can’t do it by the book. Life, I feel, is so much bigger than that.

I do have this hazy idea of what I want in my life. I recognize that I haven’t done much to making it possible. And I also realized that the things I really want are those in my Mondo Beyondo list- the improbable list because they may never happen. But that’s just it. I do want those things ... and I want them bad. I have made steps to achieve them. But I haven’t really put my heart and soul into them.

Am I too old to make mission-statements? I don’t think so. If you never get too old to learn, to love, to have sex (hehehe – ok, let’s leave that for further chat discussions) then you will never be too old to make a mission in your life. Besides, missions evolve as you fulfill them. So why not now?

So I did. I wrote up the whole she-bang and didn’t stop till the sun went up. It was like a whole Jerry Mcguire moment.

Now, for the difficult part … working towards it … actually living it. IT MUST NOT STAY ON PAPER! Jerry was lucky enough to lose his job. He was forced to fulfill his mission because he had nothing else more to do. I can't afford to lose my job, much more to quit it. There are vultures ready to pounce on it at any given time. There has to be other ways to fulfilling your dreams without spreading yourself too thin. How do people do it? Answer: They just do it I guess. They don't waste their time thinking on how and why and what. They just do it (like the Nike ad). Because they want to. Because it is THE purpose. Don't you hate it when you answer your own question?

Ok. (Deep breath) So help me God.

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