1.16.2011

On Committed

So I've been reading Elizabeth Gilbert's book, "Committed: A Skeptic Makes Peace With Marriage" all weekend. It's her follow-up to the recent hit "Eat, Pray, Love" which they made into a movie.

My friend gave it to me as a birthday present with a written note on the title page about "being committed to our addiction". My friends and I, in a recent get together has finally admitted our addictions - that we are Addicts to certain things, or certain someones. Amongst my friends, only one is married but might not be married for very long. It's timely that my friend picked this book as my 40th birthday gift. I, though still adamant about not getting married, also need to make peace with this institutional commitment which is holy matrimony.

Let me quote my personal favorite lines from the book. They are also the most obvious ones people learn but take for granted anyway. They might not mean anything to you but if read within the book, these lines will be appreciated in the paragraphs where they are at:

But for the very reason - exactly because she had chosen her spouse out of love - her marriage was more fragile than she realized. (I was not convinced about marriage at this point, and neither was Elizabeth Gilbert).

The Buddha taught all human suffering is rooted in desire. (Nyahaha! Don't we all know this!)

The Quaker teacher Parker Palmer once said of his own life that depression was a friend sent to save him from the exaggerated elevation of false euphoria that he'd been manufacturing forever. Depression pushed him back down to earth, Palmer said, back down to a level where it might finally be safe for him to walk and stand in reality. (This is something I can relate to right now so I marked it in the book).

Don't overthink this, buddy, okay? Just put one hoof in front of the other and you'll come out on the other side just fine. (I'm placing this on my desktop as a daily reminder of getting by at work).,

It is not we as individuals, then, who must bend uncomfortably around the institution of marriage; but rather, it is the institution of marriage that has to bend uncomfortably around us. (You have to read this in it's proper context to get the point but I want it here for posterity)

Rome, don't be an idiot tonight! (Haha. Great song to sing to your future spouse.)

Also, since I don't want to type the whole page here, please read the "really, really big issue of mine" - and mine too, on page 184-185. :)

Here are some more that might prove more useful to you if you are married or about to get married. I'm sorry if my quotes seems useless to you, but they are useful to me so bygones. Here's a link to a blogger who probably has even greater appreciation for the book Committed: Borrowing Wisdom. Because she wrote so many quotes from it :)

I'll be back to work tomorrow. I'm taking my quotes and making them my mantra for the week.

2 comments:

Daphn3 LaurA said...

I've recently started reading this book as well. Mostly to find out how Elizabeth and Felipe's love story ends. I will make sure to think of you when I reach pages 184-185. I'm a slow reader and/or I fall asleep just reading a few pages of any book. hehe

Duds said...

Yup, I also wanted to know how that love story ended. And I think I made my peace with marriage. Not as entertaining as Eat Pray Love but it did serve its purpose. Let me know what you think of it :)