This is Jim Checking In

I've been busy. No, actually I've been living in an insanely chaotic frenzy. Yup, that's the best way to describe it. I feel so tired and a bout of asthma just attacked me today while I was in the middle of giving a training. I was coughing my way to kingdom come between words and drowned the cough with water to silence it. So, I hope thing will get better tomorrow. Sigh.

I wanted to blog about the books lining up in my bedside waiting for me to read but they remain untouched since December. I wanted to blog about the books my friends sent that I haven't even picked up because ... as I said, I'm in chaos.

I wanted to blog about Anthony Pangilinan (blink blink blink) whose training on Knockout Presentations I attended last Saturday and whose inputs I sooooo highly value. I wanted to tell the world how lovely and entertaining he was and how great his topics were. I wanted to blog that he will give the same talk in Kalibo this Saturday at Sampaguita Gardens and want to convince everyone in Kalibo to attend his talk because it is soooooo worth it.

I wanted to blog about my poet-friend's digital artshow and how cool it was. And that you can still catch it at the new art gallery in the Old Provincial Capitol.

I wanted to blog about the termites attacking my home and that I'm waiting for my house to fall down on my head any time now.

I wanted to kick my dad's ass - I still do - and I wanted to blog about that too, but I do love my Dad no matter how much I want to kick his ass; But GRRRRRRRR, let me just say that.

I wanted to blog about power problems we had at the office (for three weeks) and how it affected work productivity. I mean we never realized how important air-conditioning was until we lost it. And that dang heat immobolized us as effectively as a stun gun would.

I wanted to blog about how stressed I am at work because I'm the only female and the lonesome Admin Support- although I do forget that I'm female most of the time. I wanted to talk about how my best friend wanted to stop my co-workers from calling me, "Parts!" (short for partner) because it's a guy's buddy term. How I pointedly answered that I can't exactly ask them to call me "Girl!" or they would sound gayer than Dinagyang flaglettes.

I wanted to write about the wonderful movies I watched while resting on my back. To name a few: Hurt Locker, It's Complicated, An Education, Invictus, The Messenger among others.

I wanted to write about my new website project which I really like and that I'm working with two cool guys where I can say anything that comes into my head and they can roll with it and that they have the courage to disagree with me - hehe.

I wanted to bitch about the heat, and the lack of funds and the need to get more sleep. I want to bitch about not having enough time to work on my own new website design which I hope to get online by tomorrow.

I wanted to blog about ... hahaha - the highlight of my year but I will keep that one between me and my best friend  :) (blink blink blink)

I've been neglecting this blog far too long and I just wanted to check in so my friends will know I'm still alive. Anyway, while thinking of a title I remembered a quote in this story in my younger years that goes:

I JUST CAME AGAIN TO TELL YOU, LORD, HOW HAPPY I'VE BEEN, SINCE WE FOUND EACH OTHER'S FRIENDSHIP AND YOU TOOK AWAY MY SIN. DON'T KNOW MUCH OF HOW TO PRAY, BUT I THINK ABOUT YOU EVERYDAY. SO, JESUS, THIS IS JIM CHECKING IN."

That's how I pray everyday.

I'm tired. But beautiful - HAHAHA! So this is me checking in. :)

Death by chocolate again

There are days when being the primary bread winner in the family is so much like carrying an anvil in a backpack while trekking through ice in Antartica. I'm having one of those days. A quick death would be relief. Life is giving me a major headache right now. It shouldn't be this hard and burdensome. I shouldn't be feeling this tired. I should have more fun.

A friend of mine and I were talking about death the other day. How we are soooo ready for it. I told her that feeling like this might not be a healthy thing psychologically. It's like we have a death wish and we're daring it to happen. At this point, I really don't care. I have done things I wanted to do. My goals in life are simple. My wishes that haven't been achieved will happen when they happen. I don't want to depend my happiness on them happening because I'm not very good with disappointment. If I should die today, what happens after that will not be my problem. They can just burn my body in a big can and scatter my ashes in the front yard. I have left an unsophisticated written will somewhere in my dairy because Neil Gaiman says it's important to do so. I don't have much so there's nothing much to give away. I also have left instructions on how to deal with whatever things I may left hanging. I'm good to go. So is there's really something seriously wrong with me if I do this?

My friend and I agreed that we will both be very good this year on the premise that good people die young (smirk).  We will try to be good. We will be sooo good that sana kunin na kami ni Lord. I know. It's depressing and morbid. But so was Catcher in the Rye by the late J.D. Salinger but everyone loved it.

Do I care if I go to hell or heaven? Hell, yeah! But I also believe in a forgiving God. And I haven't done anything remotely sinful since I stopped attending mass. Okay, let me rephrase that - nothing on the list of the ten commandments. Okay - that's not necessarily true either - LOL. Let's just say that with the things I've done, God will send me to where I truly deserve to be. I believe in a just God at the very least.

This depressing post is brought yo you by the movies Hurt Locker, It's Complicated, The Blind Side and Up In The Air - very good movies by the way. And by Hershey kisses too.This is something chocolate can cure. Sigh. Mom said there will be days like this.

Dinagyang Part 2

I posted my Dinagyang pics on four of my social networking sites. Each site contains different pics so everyone can have a taste of the different tribes. I will post the links to the other sites as soon as I can upload all of them. All pics were taken with my six years old (?) Canon point and shoot.

Links to other Dinagyang pics posts:
Taga-Iloilo
Flickr
Deviant Art

Last Dinagyang?

It's unlike me to not talk about anything under the sun for more than a week. It's also unlike me to leave my blog unattended for more than a week. But things have been kinda hectic and I'm going through battles with self-pity because I'm overworked, have not slept much and feel more stressed out than I would care to admit. So I took time to address those so I could get back to normal or some semblance of normalcy. I still need a real vacation - one that doesn't let me think of work even in my sleep. But I guess, unless I'm not in some foreign or far away place, that will ever happen. So Lord God and the universe that makes dreams come true, please grant me a vacation to Thailand this year - bwahahaha! I know I need it.

I've been helping out as part of the Dinagyang Committee in Stage 3 Judging Area for the last five years - I think.It started out by volunteering to design the tickets. Since then, I've been designing the Dinagyang and Kasadyahan tickets every year. And every year, I was allowed to help usher people to their seats, explain to difficult people that they can't sit where they're not supposed to, argue with the media on placements and tell people that the tickets in Stage three Dinagyang Area are FREE!!!!! And not for sale!!!! And that they can't complain about our stage rules because having a ticket and a chance to watch Dinagyang at Stage 3  is a privilege and not a God-given right! Hehe. Ok, sorry about that. Guarding the doors gets me into war mode - ready for battle ;)

Anyway, I'm tired from all the running around these last two days. Dinagyang ended at about 1pm today and after a very late lunch, I slept like a log. I just realized that this might be the last Dinagyang Festival I'm going to help out with. We will be changing governors this year and who knows who gets to help out in next year's Dinagyang Festival. I might not make the list next time. But bygones, I've had five years. I think that should be enough. One thing I know though, I will never get tired of taking pictures of Dinagyang. Even with just a point and shoot, I think I did well for an amateur photographer. And I did enjoy watching the dances live. Kudos to the Iloilo Dinagyang Foundation for making it to the Hall of Fame. I do think Dinagyang has improved a lot in terms of quality. Of course, there will always be criticisms about it but that can't be helped if you're in the hall of fame. It goes with the territory I guess.

I'll post the Dinagyang and Kasadyahan pics soon. Right now I just need to chill and enjoy the last few hours of the festivities before I go back to the real stress tomorrow. Decided to go out for dinner with friends and watch street dancing or if I get drunk enough, join in the dancing..

Hay, life is so peculiar. A I keep saying, be careful what you ask for because the world just might give it to you. If there is one more thing I could ask for this year, I don't want Erap to be President.  :) Amen. hehe.

Mysterious Black :)

There's a reason for the title. It's a secret that only women are supposed to know. I can't tell you coz men are lurking in this blog. But should you have a facebook account, watch out for emails that are for women only. If I had my way, I'd like to change it and copy my cousin's color: Barely there :D. Like that one.

Anyway, I'm taking a break from work. I will need to get back to it in a few minutes but I need to rest my back a bit. Currently listening to a piano piece by an unknown artist with an unknown title. All I know is that it's Korean and I like it and would like to learn how to play it. Now, if I could only find a piano, I would lose myself in it. For now, I'm content to playing it over and over again. It's also my wake up alarm tone - and it fails miserable because it just makes me want to go back to sleep.

Today begins a no-weekend week. I worked today and will be working with no weekends until the Dinagyang Festival. That happens annually so I'm getting really used to it. I should turn dark and not my sunny self in a few days so be aware that you might need to avoid me when you see me in the streets. Yup, despite the powers of my lovely rebonded hair - my mood will be very ... unstable. So you know.

On a lighter note, I closed my dudsonline.com financial books yesterday. The verdict: I'm doing good. Not bad for a college dropout with no business sense who works part-time on an online venture with just a website for an office . I'm re-doing my site by the way. Started during Christmas break but haven't had time to finish it. I'm going chocolate this year. Watch out for that soon.

Tradition Tradition Tradition

Just sort of want to mark this date. Every beginning of anything should be marked. I just feel that this year would be significant when I look back later on. So this date is ticked and marked in red - it's the beginning of something - woohooo! Of what? I don't know yet but it will be ;)

Anyway, to recap where I've been hiding these past few days. It's really been one party after another, but surprisingly I had very little booze. I kinda like the natural flow of adrenalin by just friends and family holed up in one place. But I really kinda like just staying home and chilling. I can't seem to get enough of that for some reason. I feel that vacation is just too short.

I really have to make it a point to visit Nanay today - just to let her know that we're still alive and all = not that she wouldn't know hehe. I haven't gone to see her since November - tsk tsk tsk. And I just think we should remember our dead during the holidays too. We miss her dearly. Nobody prepares for Christmas and New Year like my mom.

I went to mass at Christmas Eve - where we had the flash mob :) before the mass began. Unfortunately I was too shy to join coz I really can't remember the dance steps. Sayang. Will make sure I join the next one though.

We had the annual Daquilanea Christmas Party on the 26th - that was a a blast. We had the traditional gift exchange with a maximum amount of P20 each. That alone is a challenge because you really can't buy anything at P20 nowadays and there is a required proof of purchase. I got a knife this year - from Passi market :) One of the kids got it and had to trade a used-bookstore-book to make sure nobody gets hurt with that knife - which I doubt can cut through anything but it might be a good letter opener in the future.

We had a year-end party at work last Tuesday. It was kinda nice. We had breakfast together at JD Roadhouse, then lunch together at Allan's in Oton. We would've had dinner together too had it not been for an upset stomach due to overeating. The guys don't let us pay so we were spoiled princesses for a day which is a bit refreshing.

I spent the last day of the year holed up in a beauty salon for 11 hours having my annual hair touch-up. It's become almost a tradition. Hair rebond every year end so I'm sporting a new look - long spiky hair. I had to cut about three inches of the mane and the salon owner wished I didn't chop it off but I'm really getting tired of all that hair. I would've done shorter but it will make my face more robust :)

I watched fireworks with friends at the plaza just before midnight and had a late lunch/dinner and early new year snack after that and headed off to bed. I heard the world turn a year older but I was too tired to get up. I woke up early just now coz of the diana - the marching band that wakes everybody up for the fiesta mass at 4 in the morning. I love traditions.

That's about it. I'm going back to bed and wishing the world new blessings this year. I hope we all get what we want this year ;) - just be careful what youa sk for - hehehe. Happy New Year!

Happy Birthday to me

Warning: There is no point to this birthday post. Just random thoughts put together.

On the year I was born, the well known First Quarter Storm happened in the gates of Malacanang, where Marcos was then President; 50,000 students and laborers stormed the palace and were met with gunfire and tear gas grenades. That year, the Constitutional Convention of 1970 was called to change the existing Philippine Constitution which was made during the Commonwealth of the Philippines.

It was also the year when they held the largest rock festival of all time, The Isle of Wight Festival, that took place with 600,000 people attending; where Jimi Hendrix, The Who, the Doors and Chicago performed. Later that same year Jimi Hendrix and Janis Joplin died. It was the year when Simon and Garfunkel released their final album, “Bridge Over Troubled Water” and “The Long and Winding Road” became the last No. 1 song of the Beatles.

My mother’s mother also died that year. I didn’t get to meet her but I was the three month bump under my mother’s dress in the old pictures. While all of the above was happening, I wasn’t really born yet. I arrived on the last month of that year, just when everybody else was looking back at the year that was. I was born just as my new year was about to end.

I was born in the year of chaos. I don’t think that has anything to do with my personality – although it would certainly explain a lot; I do think it played some part on how I grew up or how I was brought up. Not much has changed. It is still a chaotic world. I wonder if this world has ever known peace?

The most troublesome habit formed about being born on the year that ends in zero, I tend to count my present age according to that year. Like 2009 – I will turn 39 – only to remember that I don’t turn 39 until the year ends. And I pretty much think I’m 39 the whole year instead of thinking 38 because it was 2009. Get it? Nevermind.

I turn 39 today. I’m supposed to self-destruct at the age of 38 so while writing this I’m half expecting something to happen to me, which is unlikely, but who knows. I’ve always thought my 13 year old self was quite wise for thinking of self-destruction 25 years into her future. But if that’s not going to happen, well, onward I go.

I started the above montage four years ago. I wanted to document how I age. It was quite difficult to put together because my age and the years the pics were taken jumbles up the chronology. Anyway, a friend told me that I seem to have lots to smile about all through out my life. I agree. So despite the chaos, there is … a lot of sense of humor in there LOL. How else could I have survived all these years? So cheers to all the funny people I’ve met in my life – I thank you for your wit, your craziness and your perfect timing on the punchline.

To my God who knows me better than I know myself, thank you for another year. Again, I am overwhelmingly grateful for my weird family, my ever-lasting friendships, my wise mentors, for love in all the wrong places – LOL! ... Bansai! For Peace!

Below is The Doonesbury cartoon posted December 22, 1970 in the New York times. Pretty much sums up my philosophies in life haha!

Movement ...

Watched Avatar yesterday and regretted not watching it on 3D. Lovely special effects, creative character animation and exciting action. I also love the direction, how the cameras twist is angles that are - well, I don't know - just right? Haha. Anyway, it's a must see.

On a more serious note, I marvel at how stupid we decide on things especially the environment. We know so little about the world that we sometimes think we've seen it all. I know how ignorant and passive I can be. And I've been very good at making bad decisions in the past. But we learn. And I hope we will never be smart enough to stop learning. I think it's exciting - learning. There is so much to discover, so many new things to see. Ok, I'm going to stop now. I'm just saying ...

On the lighter side of life, I've been dancing again since Thursday. Remember my last post? :) We are the change we want to see in the world. Ask and the world will conspire to make your dreams come true. I know I keep repeating that but I honestly believe those words. They work. It's all about attitude. If you want it, make it happen. And it's happening - in a small scale - but it is just the beginning. The sudden changes in temperature is bringing out the worst of my asthma, but allow me to wiggle my booty and I will forget that I can't breathe. Haha. I just love that I can be able to move again. Don't feel that young anymore though. I have a couple of white hairs to prove it. When did I get so old? LOL. Still, age is mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't really matter.

Flash Mob

From wikipedia: A flash mob (or flashmob) is a large group of people who assemble suddenly in a public place, perform an unusual action for a brief time, then quickly disperse. The term flash mob is generally applied only to gatherings organized via telecommunications, social media, or viral emails. The term is generally not applied to events organized by public relations firms or as publicity stunts.

Saw my first flash mob dance while watching an episode of Weeds. Love it so much, I almost broke into tears - hahaha. Then my sister said that there was a flash mob that happened again in Oprah. Posted it below. And another one at the Central Station in Belgium. Then a different one in Singapore, London, Australia. Maybe they already had one in the Philippines. If someone plans to organize one here in Iloilo, Please Please let me know! I want to be right in the middle of it. I don't want to be at the side watching.

Central Station in Antwerp, Beligium - Do Re Mi by Julie Andrews


The Oprah Show, Chicago - I Got A Feeling by the Black Eyed Peas


Advertisement by T-Mobile, Liverpool St., London, England - All Time Favorites Medley


Raffles Place (Been here!), Singapore - Medley including Nobody (Wonder Girls), You're the One That I want (Grease)


Piccadily Circus, London - All The Single Ladies by Beyonce


Mall of Asia, Philippines - Medley


Weeds Episode


On a lesser note, we did something like this before in a smaller scale. It started with a Thriller wedding entourage video in You Tube. My family decided to replicate a similar dance in my cousin's wedding. The whole family gathered for 5 nights practicing Thriller and Disco Inferno. Nobody but us knew that we were dancing. My cousin and his bride did the customary bride and groom dance, then all of a sudden the whole family (young and old) were on the dance floor dancing to Thriller/Disco Inferno in what seemed to be a spontaneous dance number. The guests were thrilled and surprised but we enjoyed it as much as they did.


I guess the best thing about it is that it looked so spontaneous and took unsuspecting onlookers by surprise. It just seems like you were at the right place at the right time - and that's always a pleasant feeling isn't it?

The Difference

This was e-mailed to me this morning. It resonates.

The difference between the poor countries and the rich ones is not the age of the country: Examples are countries like India & Egypt, that are more than 2000 years old, but are poor.

On the other hand, Canada , Australia, & New Zealand, that 150 years ago were virtually unnoticed, today are developed countries, and are rich. The difference between poor & rich countries does not reside in the available natural resources.

Japan has a limited territory, 80% mountainous, inadequate for agriculture & cattle raising, but it is the second largest world economy. The country is like an immense floating factory, importing raw materials from the whole world and exporting manufactured products.

Another example is Switzerland , which does not plant cocoa but has the best chocolate in the world. In its little territory they raise animals and plant the soil during 4 months per year. Not only that, they produce dairy products of the best quality!

It is a small country that has an image of security, order & strong labor force, which made it the world's strongest, safest place.

Executives from rich countries who communicate with their counterparts in poor countries show that there is no significant intellectual difference.

Race or skin color are also not important: immigrants labeled lazy because of their countries of origin are the productive power in many richer European countries.

What is the difference then?
The difference is the attitude of the people,
influenced along the years by education, culture,
& flawed tradition.

On analyzing the behavior of the people in rich & developed countries, we find that the great majority follow the following principles in their lives:

1. Ethics as a basic principle.
2. Integrity.
3. Responsibility.
4. Respect to the laws & rules.
5. Respect to the rights of other citizens.
6. Work loving.
7. Strive for savings & investment.
8. Will of super action.
9. Punctuality.
10. and of course .... Discipline.

In poor countries, only a minority follow these basic principles in their daily life..

The Philippines is not poor because we lack natural resources or because nature was cruel to us. In fact, we are supposedly rich in natural resources.

We are poor because we lack the correct attitude. We lack the will to comply with and teach these functional principles of rich & developed societies.

If you do not forward this message
nothing will happen to you.
Your pet will not die, you will not be fired, you will not have bad luck for seven years, and also, you will not get sick or go hungry.

But those may happen because of your lack of discipline & laziness
your love for intrigue and politics,
your indifference to saving for the future,
your stubborn attitude.

Kkkccccold

Woke up at 4:30am with an idea for a project and just had to write it down. Now I can't sleep. It's colder now - December - but it doesn't feel anywhere near Christmas. We have put up all the decorations and all. I wonder, as we grow older, do we lose a bit of the Christmas spirit? Maybe it really depends on the person. I'm sure there are people out there who can still be as jolly as Saint Nick during the holidays.

I was having this conversation with a friend one day. I asked her if I've become heartless by the way I judge people. She said no. And since she's a therapist by profession, I'm assured that she knows what she's talking about LOL.

Had another mini-reunion dinner with friends at Afrique's last Monday night. We started talking about kids since one of us is obviously very pregnant and blooming at that. I wasn't the only one in the group who didn't want kids but I was the only one who didn't want to adopt. Truthfully, I can't see myself with a child - my child. Does that make me a bad mother? LOL. My preggie friend tells me that those feelings can change when you do have kids. I guess that has to happen for me to find out. I sometimes think that I will eventually regret this, not getting married and settling down. But I'm living in the now and my now seems content with what is there. My nephews and nieces are inspiration enough for me. I may not have a lovelife - but I am loved. I don't need much. Just a bit of attention now and then.

Kkkkcccold? Am I?

I guess that as long as it doesn't matter to me, it doesn't really matter. or does it? I'm confused now hahaha. Better get back to sleep.