Couch Potato

So I've been spending my nights on the long black couch, laptop balanced on my stomach, coffee on the side table and TV on mute. I wait for Pinoy Biggest Loser which airs at ten during weekdays and pass the time reading blogs, experimenting codes and looking at pics of half-naked men. That last part was not intentional. There just happens to be half-naked men on some of the blogs I read because they're promoting albums that seem to require them to be half-naked. Not that I mind. Lol,

Anyway, Friday night and here I am again. A friend texted and invited me for a drink but I didn't feel like dressing up so I ignored the text. Our friend Glen gave us free tickets to the Sarah Geronimo-Martin Nievera Concert but we gave it away. It just feels right to stay home tonight and watch Robin Padilla move on screen without a voice. It just feels right to be typing here with my re-formatted laptop and not worry about anything else. No talk. Minimum movement. Visually full.

Ahm show about to start. Maybe will talk to you later. Or maybe Monday when I start this whole thing all over again after the weekend break.

To Teach Is To Learn Is to Lead

I've been attending a seminar on designing templates for websites, specifically Joomla because that's what the unit uses as CMS. I don't know Joomla but I was tasked to document the process because documentation is part of the training too. So they started with basic html and css - something I've been doing for a couple of years now and I know those codes like the back of my hand. So I was asked to assist the Australian Volunteer Chris to go around and help those who can't quite catch up. I kinda like looking for wrong syntax in codes and teaching the participants what went wrong with their code. And I like it when their eyes shine when they finally figure out how to make it work. I like seminars like this. But at a short time, Chris can only teach so much. We will have to figure out the rest for ourselves. It all boils down to how much do you really want to learn to improve yourself. Sort of like losing weight, how much do you really want it?

There's a pararam maxim I came across another training that says:

He who knows not, and knows not that he knows not, is a fool. Shun him.
He who knows, and knows not that he knows, is asleep. Wake him.
He who knows not, and knows he knows not, is simple. Teach him.
He who knows, and knows he knows is wise. Follow him.

I have very little patience for fools. The rest just needs to be led. Which would probably bring me to a topic on leadership, something I've wanted to blog about for a long time but I can't seem to finish the post.

The thing is ... I have such high respect for leaders who know how to bring people to follow them without force or intimidation. Ghandi and Mother Theresa use quite means: prayer and peace. Kennedy did it with powerful words that inspire. General Richard Winters did it with strategy and great example.

There is a big difference between a manager and a leader. I got this from research:

A manager deals with status-quo; a leader deals with change.
A manager work in the system; a leader works on the system.
A manager reacts;  a leader creates opportunities.
A manager controls risk;  a leader seeks opportunities.
A manager enforces organizational rules;  a leader changes organizational rules.
A manager seek and the follow direction;  a leader provides a vision to believe in and strategic alignment.
A manager control people by pushing them in the right direction; a leader motivates people by satisfying basic human needs.
A manager coordinates effort; a leader inspires achievement and energizes people.
A manager provides instructions;  a leader coaches followers, create self-leaders and empowers them.

That's why people have very little respect for managers and  have high regard for leaders. Me, I want to follow great leaders. With the rest, I just have to grudgingly obey. LOL.

The human circle

So I had an overload of Rizal info yesterday. I kinda like the dirt they throw in about the heroes though. Juan Luna killing his wife and mother-in-law. Rizal dating two chicks at the same time. Every hero has his weakness. And every hero is just human. Makes them real that way and not some unreachable icon. Which also means everybody else can be a hero because everyone else is human. Right?

Anyways, a brief update. My new nephew has been welcomed to the Christian world - which decides the kind of God he will have to learn in his lifetime. I'm good with that. I kinda like my God - wait, I love my Christian God. It's just the practice which confuses me sometimes. I'm a sinner. I feel relief just admitting that because it means I could still do something about it. I wonder about people described as "Banal na Tao, Santong Kabayo". If they think they're saved, then where do they go from there?

My other nephew, the grown up one who just moved to Manila to work just received his paycheck. And he enjoys his work and he likes where he is now. Kinda makes you feel fulfilled to have contributed to something  that feels right. I've also been told that he has took up body building and has become a gay-magnet. He had elevator proposals twice already. I'm not really worried about how he handles himself. He's very polite about turning people down - but I do wish he could be just straight up blunt like his mom and Titas are. "We don't like you! Deal with it!" And being the street-smart kid we raised him to be, he remedies the situation by bringing his female cousin along on places where his magnet is strongest - to discourage any indecent proposals. I say that boy is an improvement to the race.

Our baby boy is currently visiting his grandmother. So all is quiet in the house. That is why I'm taking the opportunity to clean up my stuff before the boy gets home and messes it all up again. I miss him though. He has learned to kiss, hug, dance in such a short period of time. Pretty soon, he'll be saying, "I wuv you" and reciting his ABCs.

I live for moments like this. :)

Hidden savings

I'm going broke. Encountered some unexpected expenses and I'm still waiting to be paid for some projects. I knew that I will eventually have to break the bank - my piggy bank. The good news is I no longer need to slaughter a pig since my pigs Violet and Dodo have nine lives or maybe more :)

So I was sadly contemplating on prying them open when I dug in my pockets and found 400 bucks on my newly laundered shorts. So now, I have money to give Dorsy to go buy fish and meat. Otherwise she would've gone to market with a bunch of ten peso coins on her pocket. Relief. At least I know I can still survive for another week until the money comes in.

Currently in the mood for canned goods. Here are some I want to purchase and give to my nemesis. :D They are real. People actually sell them although now I can't remember where I found them. I do want to see what's inside though. Mortal Terror scares me but I think I can handle the Colly Wobbles and the Heebie-Jeebies. I love the labels. Maybe I can find them in Diagon Alley.

Off I go. Just finished working. Going to watch Pinoy Biggest Loser, then maybe a few episodes of Criminal Minds then I'm off to bed.

I watched the movie Hanna - a disturbing movie about raising an assassin. I love Saoirsee Ronan's acting and I love the cinematography. I like the symbols hidden in the movie and I like Cate Blanchett. Must watch movie.

And also the movie Something Borrowed - a romantic comedy starring Ginnifer Goodwin, Kate Hudson, John Krasinski and the hunky Collin Egglesfield. Sweet. I always root for the underdog. Must watch too!

Okay, off to watch tv. Good night world.

33 Ways to Stay Creative

From twitter = D

I try to do all of the above. I have problems with 22, 29, 31 and sometimes, 33. But I get by.

Ka-tweak!

What's up? Not much.

It's a Sunday and I just finished doing a catalog layout - and as usual, I want to tweak everything all over again. But I'm trying to curb the impulse by blogging. First, it would be costly for the client because I'm being paid by the hour. Second, I know I will never be satisfied.

Don't feel like going through the vacation pics right now and selecting which ones to post. I think I had good ones on my facebook already so there's really very little to add. But I will get to that soon because I want my vacation pics where I can easily find them.

I finished watching Community Season 2. And I can go through Hawaii-5-O but ummmmm ... don't really feel like it like now. I miss my daily dose of CSI and Criminal Minds. But they can wait.

Oh, we have new neighbors. The house next door have been empty for a long time. The Chinese renters left after the mother died. They were not a friendly bunch so never really got to know them. The wall between the two garages is separated by cyclone wire so we could see who goes in and out of the house and they could see my Dad's underwear when he choose to hang his laundry in the garage. A lot of people have been interested in buying/ renting that house because we are such good neighbors (nyahaha). Well, not really. We live in a very nice neighborhood. It's near a hospital, various pharmacies, a supermarket, a school, a park, a basketball court, a soccer field and a Catholic Chapel. Anyway, movers began carrying stuff inside since yesterday. I didn't know the difference between who was moving in and who was just helping out in the moving in and I'm not the type to stare and go greet the neighbors. An opportune time will come soon enough. The good news is they listen to Queen. I can hear it from my bedroom. I like people who can belt out the Bohemian Rhapsody with the wrong lyrics Like me. LOL. I think that's a good sign.

Did I tell you that our baby is now walking about? HE IS SOOOO DARN CUTE! We bought him shoes that makes squeaking sounds so we will know where he is at all times. We bought electric outlet guards because he likes to touch things and throw them. We turned Paolo's room into a storehouse of things that the baby cannot touch or play with like large bicycles, a huge gym ball and my computer chair (he drives it around the house like a truck - and crashes with it when he looses his balance). We taught him to bounce and shout like a banshee. He has a good set of teeth which he puts to good use on skin, leather chairs, wood paint and anything he can insert his mouth into. He's adorable. It helps that I can return him to his mom when I get tired of baby sitting LOL.

So that's about it. I'm going to get some rest now. Or else I will start tweaking that layout again.

Hi world

I have plenty to say but I'm too busy. So here's a short note to tell you that I'm back from my vacation (pics to follow) and moving through my daily routine, pffft during the day and awake with design thoughts at night. I also wanted to tell you that I'm currently hooked at watching The Biggest Loser on TV and disturbed by all my weight gain (although I did lose a few during those long walks in Hong Kong and Macau). Anyway, I have lots to say. But I have to work tonight - nice project that involves playing - my favorite pastime. :)

Talk to you soon.

Pride and Free will

When something is eating me, I would know. One sign is not being to solve a single puzzle of four suit spider solitaire in five tries. Another would be not being able to sit still to fix a problem in my pc or read a book. And the last would be escaping through movies or babies :) I've been doing both lately. I know I desperately need a break - just to keep my sanity - but it can't seem to come soon enough. There are days when I just want the earth to open up and eat me alive. But thinking back, if that ever is a possibility, I don't think I will ever say that last statement. LOL. No matter how depressed I am, I have to say I do want to live and see more of the world. But then again, there are days when you think you've seen enough and just want to - I don't know - puke?

I have to admit, I bore easily. I can't stand not doing anything. And more than that, I can't stand not being inspired. It's like I'm semi-bi-polar. My highs and lows are so high and so low. Sigh. Nanay said there will be days like these. It just seems like I'm having too many of it and I'm counting the days until I blow up.

Okay, enough of my gloomy disposition. I have a baby in the house. That is reason enough to get up everyday.

On another note, I've been reading a lot about pride. There's this logo designer I've been following, David. I love his designs and I love his thoughts. A few days ago, he wrote Tell Your Story. "No one sets you apart - It's you". I copied that on my notebook. I think it's inspiring to own up to your creativeness, your uniqueness, your identity as a person. And I also think it's daunting to own up to the responsibility of your creations, your decisions, your identity as a person. I always tell my kids (meaning all nephews and nieces willing to listen) to be proud of what they have done no matter how small it may be. I like people to take pride in their work and say that they have contributed a tiny part of themselves to the world to make it a better place. Some Christians think pride is the work of the devil - I think they are wrong. Everything has to be in moderation. Too much of everything IS the work of the devil. Or more importantly - work of our own decisions.

The movie Adjustment Bureau (stars Matt Damon and Emily Blunt) talks explores the idea of free will. Everyday we are faced by options. Do we really want things decided for us? Do we really want to be manipulated into thinking we did make the choice ourselves and not swayed by invisible forces? I think I celebrate free will. I also detest it and wish someone take responsibilities for the path I found myself in. But we are products of the choices we make - (parang Coke commercial?)

And since I'm talking about movies, I recommend Reign of the Assassins (Jianyu). I'm not even sure what language it is in since it has a multi-lingual cast: Jung Woo Sung (Korean, yes - I love love love him lol), Michelle Yeoh (Malaysian, Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon star), Barbie Hsu (Taiwanese, Meteor Garden), Shawn Yue (Hong Kong). I love the plot. I love the actors. And I love the symbolism of Wisdom (oooohhh) :) - it helps that he's good-looking too. Here, a leader decides who and what they do, until someone else decides who she is. I love this movie. I've watched it twice. I'm captivated by the flying and sword fighting. And the romance - well, I've always been a sucker for very unusual love stories. This one - sigh - is a must watch.

And one last movie before I go back to being boring, Gnomeo and Juliet, an animated film of the Shakespearean tragedy - but different. It contains voices of James McAvoy (Yup, I love him too), Emily Blunt, Michael Caine, Ozzy Osbourne, Dolly Parton among others. Here fate is decided by color - blue and red. Until two people decided they don't care if they're pink coz they're in-love. Another atypical romance. Funny jokes. Great 3D animation. Lovely characters.

Ah shit. Now I want to live in the movies I watch. I think I've hit bottom. LOL.

Real

My nephew who was born and raised here with us will be leaving for Manila today. He's all grown up now and ready to conquer the world. And even though he has doubts about himself, probably scared to death too although he wouldn't admit it; he's street-smart and I know he will do well. I miss him already and he hasn't even boarded a plane yet. Sigh. Who's gonna play the guitar during brown-outs? Who's going to show me goofy dances when it gets too serious? Who's the guy who will lift the 5-gallon water to the dispenser? Who's going to the store and buy the Coca-cola? :) We will miss you bud. See you soon.

I'm feeling sentimental today. I have done too much thinking this weekend. And since I had trouble with my pc and laptop, I think that's all I've been doing. It's tiring to be me. LOL.

Here's a thought. I've always thought that the true gauge of friendship is honesty. My friends all know that I'm brutally frank, and at most times I do not hold back and will not sugar-coat anything. Because of this, my mouth often gets me into trouble. But this is how I see it. I say what I think. Others may not want to hear it. Or even tell me things I don't want to hear. My real friends tell me I'm fat. Which is true. What can I say, the truth hurts. We will fight about it. We will not even talk to each other for days. But if they are my real friends, honesty will be the only thing that will keep us together. I have very few friends, and I do not need many. I just need them to be real.

I was finally able to see the episode where J.J. leaves the Criminal Minds Team. On the last part, she wrote this on her report:

Maybe it's because I look at everything as a lesson.
Or because I don't want to walk around angry.
Or maybe it's because I finally understand.
There are things we don't want to happen but have to accept.
Things we do not want to know but have to learn.
And people we can't live without but have to let go.

- Criminal Minds, Season 6, Episode 2

That pretty much sums up my weekend. Moving on.

about my day

Just a short note before I go to bed.

I had a long long-distance conversation with my friend Jeff on the phone this morning. He's visiting soon with his wife and I'm looking forward to longer discussions with him. Anyway, he asked to call me Beth instead of my nickname. I don't know if it's because he finds it difficult to pronounce my nickname or because the nickname means something else in the US. LOL. Anyway, I will find out when he comes over. He promised me an explanation.

I watched several episodes of Criminal Minds. AJ is no longer with the group which saddens me. And Prentice ... sigh ... It feels like losing Grissom in CSI all over again. Maybe it should make me happy that they could never replace Hugh Laurie in House?

Oh and I've been meaning to blog about the TV series called "Community" and "The United States of Tara". DON'T MISS THEM! They're funny and very entertaining.

Also watched the Inidan film "3 Idiots". Much to learn in this movie about education and success. I give it two thumbs up. There are corny parts but the whole movie more than make up for that. I even find the cultural Indian dancing showdowns, present in all Indian movies, quite entertaining. If you get the chance, don't miss it.

What else? I saw Natalie Portman and Ashton Kutcher's "No Strings Attached" - another romantic comedy - nothing like You've Got Mail - but I like it. And if you have unusual taste for weird conversations, also try "How Do You Know?" which stars Reese Witherspoon, Paul Rudd, Owen Wilson and Jack Nicholson. And I have seen almost all the movies nominated in the Oscar's but I guess if you're an avid movie fan, you would've seen most of those too - so no need to list them all here.

Right now I'm just trying to decide which favorite guy to draw to practice my lineart again. I'm torn between John Mayer (those tattooes will be difficult) and Jason Mraz with the guitar. If you've read this blog long enough, you would have known that I have a thing for guys who can sing, write, play the piano or a guitar and sport a camera like a body appendage. Or maybe my annual sketch should be a girl this time? Natalie or Kiera with those killer abs?

Ok that's all for tonight. I'm off tomorrow to attend a family reunion in Ajuy and have to wake up early. Good night everyone. All Izzz Well.

Animal Farm

Just finished reading Animal Farm by George Orwell yesterday. I was smiling to myself all throughout the book. Its resemblance to real life is uncanny. Sad. Sick. But True. I often wonder if this country is going in that same direction. But I still have hope in the goodness of people though. I'm not impressed with Noynoy, but at the very least, I think his heart is in the right place.

I've been telling my old boss how ironic that politics is preventing good and honest governance. And pitiful that we cannot separate one from the other. Or can we?

I cling to the hope that we can. That we have great leaders who will choose for the good of all and not a chosen few. We need more pigs like Snowball. I'm sure we have plenty of unappreciated stallions like Boxer. And visionaries like Major - only I hope they don't die early - and I hope we roast all Napoleons of the earth and lock their mouths with apples.

In the book, the initial commandments of "Animalism" have been changed to suit the privileged few. It's painful to read and more painful to see it happening in real life. While the small pickpockets rot in prisons for long periods of time, those who steal millions from the country scoot away free. As Orwell, or Eric Blair in real life wrote, "All animals are equal. But some animals are more equal than others."

Old Major had a dream. It's my dream too.