Why Bother?

Him: Sometimes you really worry me.
Me: Why?
Him: Because you want answers to everything.
Me: Why should that worry you? You think you need to answer them all?
Him: Yes, Sometimes I do.
Me: You don’t. Sometimes I just think aloud without expecting any answers.
Him: Sometimes I feel that I have to defend myself - I feel like being investigated and have to convince you that I’m not guilty. LOL
Me: LOL
Me: Then tell me to stop.
Him: I don’t think I can do that
Me: Why not?
Him: It’s in your nature as I said.
Me: If it’s in my nature, I might not know when to stop.
Him: Maybe not.
Me: So you need to tell me if it bothers you. So you tell me to stop.
Him: STOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOP!!!
Me: I’m forgetful.

But he loves me anyway. LOL. Heart thumps and expands. Sigh.

One Year

Happy Birthday Blog!

Pa Weather Weather Lang

It’s been raining real hard since yesterday. Electricity has been going on and off since last night so self-amusement has been quite limited. Finally settled to reading a book with a flashlight while the rain demanded a descending trance upon my household. Warmed up underneath my sheets, I lost myself to the world of women over 30. Although I do wish I had the body of a twenty-five year old, I’m quite content to have a mind ten years older. I may not be comfortable in my skin but I like how my mouth and other vital organs can connect to my brain. For women, life really begins at 30.

I finished Jane Smiley’s A Thousand Acres. I chose it (1) because it was a 1992 Pulitzer Prize winner; and (2) It had the Oprah Book Club logo on it – HAHAHA. Started it a few days ago and was about to stop because the first part was REALLY boring, pretty much describing the monotony of farm life. Then Ginny kissed James Clark. And after that I couldn’t put the book down. Read it all through work –hahaha – with piles of papers stacking up. Finished it that afternoon and took my work home to get it done :P Let me just quote a favorite line: “I saw this as my afterlife, and for a long time it didn’t occur to me that it contained a future.” Coming from a 35 year old farm wife who just went through hell, that sentence is incredibly unearthly. I like the book. Was quite satisfied with the ending but I’m beginning to think that all Oprah Book Club choices are waaaaay too much drama for me. After The Book of Ruth, and The One Hundred Years of Solitude (both Oprah Book club choices by the way), I was really looking for something lighter. I think from now on, I will avoid the Oprah Book Club logo when I want light reading.

My Canadian friend promised to buy me the new Harry Potter book but she won’t be arriving till September. Sigh. I can wait. Thank God for friends who remember you as Grumpy the dwarf.

I was supposed to take my Dad to have a general check-up. He’s been feeling a bit under the weather. But the weather didn’t permit it. Our doctor’s appointment was cancelled because of flooding in the doctor’s office. Sigh. And I took the day off just for that. I hate anything medical but I hate seeing suffering from sickness a LOT more. I don’t think I can stand anyone dying on me again. I wish God would take me first before than happens.

The Eucalyptus tree in front of the house was slashed in half by the storm. The sliced half now rests in peace on top of the garage roof and it’s too slippery to climb up there and get it off. We suspect it was the reason our neighbor’s phone line got cut off but we are not quite sure. I could hear them mumbling about it right outside my window. Nobody is going out today. Not in this rain. Chinese. I could never understand them.

PhotoFriday - Attractive

I know some of you have seen this pic but just have to post it again for PhotoFriday. I can't find any more pictures that would fall in this category. It's because I still have very little pictures for a semi-photographer wanna be.

Pamp Pamp Pamp ....

Am having an extremely busy month. The weird thing about it is I love it. I love being busy. I love my work even if at times I get panic attacks. And I love the people I work with. And the strangest part about it is, I’m beginning to love going to work. :)

I am part of an IT group that caters to the needs of at least 26 other offices housed in a large six-floor building. My IT group is composed of 2 in-house programmers, 2 hardware maintenance guys, 1 network administrator, 1 computer encoder and 2 computer operators who moonlight as secretaries, administrative officer, inventory officer, payroll clerks, research assistants, encoders, picture cleaners, page designers and all the other stuff required that don't have the word technical in it. To say that we are under-staffed is a major understatement. We call ourselves the Mission Impossible Squad. (Pamp pamp pamp pamp pamp pamp Tadadan … tadadan … tadant!) Only our deep affection for our respective computers surpasses our devotion for each other – hehehe.

We’re like family. We have serious debates; we have whopping disagreements; we put-up with each others quirks and egotism. But once or twice a week, we have this staff meeting with pan de sal and coffee, that forces us to lay our cards on the table, and just be human. It works mainly because we compromise. Because with the demands of our job, we know we have limited resources, not enough pay, and we recognize that we are not machines. So we make do. We have no choice.

This month has been extremely challenging. Tempers ran high. The pressures from executives who think they can get away with anything, were a bit hard-pressed. And the people who don’t understand the technical side of our job, demand stuff as if we have a Genie hidden inside a lamp somewhere.

When things start to get over our heads, we re-group. We have our coffee. We throw ideas around like each one of us there has an equal right to speak, and complain. In a staff meeting, nobody gets to be boss, or be the underdog, or be invisible. Everyone is equal regardless of gender, position, salary rates or seniority. I appreciate this like everyone else on the team. And I respect my semi-bosses (THEY ROCK!) for treating us like this. We do have real "bosses" who get paid highly but doesn’t do much for the team. Right now, they’ve been assigned somewhere else. And I wish they would not return because we’ve never been this productive as an office.

Now, if we can only bring this kind of work environment to the other offices in this building, and we remove the holier-than-thou, can-get-your-ass-fired attitudes from those who have the power, everyone might love going to work too. But I guess that’s just how the cookie crumbles.

I love my job. It’s not high-paying but at least I’m not dragging my feet to work everyday (Jig twist turn jump). Pamp pamp pamp pamp pamp Tadadan … tadadan … tadant!

Double V

The work never stops. I spent the whole day yesterday working on a logo for a computer application my boss is doing. I finished two designs that I'm really proud of, only to discover a small detail I've overlooked which according to the client makes a big difference in the whole mission of their organization. Geez! So I re-did the whole thing again and made a rushed semi-nice logo on the drawing board before the day is over.

I'm suppose to work on it again this morning but I had to attend this meeting with a very boring chairman that seems to believe his jokes and stories are funny. He had no idea that people just want to get the meeting over with to move on to their respective tasks. Grrrr. Talk about prolonging the agony.

Anyway, I'm back at the office and haven't eaten lunch yet. I will be forcing myself to have lunch today since I've been skipping my meals again and working while feeding myself with chocolate sticks so my mind would continue to work and not break the flow of adrenalin. By the end of the afternoon, I'll be fighting dizzy spells from hunger and too much sugar. Tsk tsk tsk. I know! I know! I'm hard-headed stubborn unhealthy woman.

But before I go off to have lunch, me deserves a mini-break. So I'm posting here my entry for Photo Fridays Silky Challenge. The link is on my Photodope Gallery but I'm putting one here too for those who are not into Photoblogs. And since I've gone on to the habit of deleting, I'm deleting the Maniniyut Blog I created last week - was it last week?. My PhotoFriday links will be directed to my Photodope account instead. The nicest things about being female - I can change my mind whenever I want. LOL.

Silky Waters of Boracay with my unpaid model-niece Freaky Sis

Was learning the Danish alphabet last night and had trouble practicing R, H, Y, Z, G, J, and K. Hej, did you know the Danes say Double V when they reach the letter W? Hmmmm ...

I'm off to lunch at 1:26pm. God bless to everyone.

Delete

Hello world! I've been busy. While the political arena in this country has move from heroic antics to pure embarassment, I decided that I want my taxes back! Every centavo! I'm currently ruled by hypocrites and stupidity ... and there are still intelligent politicians out there who insist that stupidity is subjective - it just depends on who's getting more power. I'm not a Gloria fan but I truly support the CBCP's stand on this issue. Why the hell did our ancestors die for the constitution? What respect do we give them if we keep on taking shortcuts? Do we change presidents everytime somebody farts? Who can we trust now? Who? WHO?! And who says that a large crowd would echo the sentiments of the great majority? The world does not revolve around Manila alone people! The great majority is with the provincias! Which brings me to Colonel Aureliano of Gabriel Garcia Marquez' One Hundred Years of Solitude: "Tell me friend, why are you fighting?" With all these confusion, who the hell knows? I just want my money back! Nobody gets to spend my taxes except me!!! IDIOTS!

There. Now that I've ranted, press delete.

As I've said, I've been busy. I've been working on remodelling this blog offline to celebrate its 1st anniversary. I've been adding lots of scripts and colors and it has become so over-decorated, I decided to delete everything and simplify. That is one of man's greatest faults. We try to improve everything and anything only to realize that simple works best. So I went back to the basics and deleted. I'm getting good at pressing delete. In my excitement, I deleted a whole blog because nobody writes there anymore. So unconditionally finally got killed because of my conditions. I don't want lose ends. And I hate leaving things unused. So delete, delete, delete. Goodbye unconditionally.blogdrive.com. I mourn your loss.

I've been also working on a photoblog called Maniniyut (it's a corny version of photographer) for Photo Friday. I get really insecure it seeing the photo entries in the contest but I like the idea that I am amongst the best eyes in the world. I'm learning a lot there. With this, I've also managed to secure a free photo gallery at Photodope.com (thank you guys!). For photographer-wanna-bes, they are a blessing. Just started yesterday so I haven't really loaded that many pics there but I will soon.

Work has also become demanding. I used to have lots of free time. Now my office team has ideas flying around that we're working on together. It will save the world - hehehe - not really. But I like this kind of involvement, this enthusiasm, this team-work. Something we never had when we HAD a boss. Now that it's just us, we get to be heard. And our ideas flourish. Ahhh, everyone should have this work environment to become more productive. And have more work - LOL. So get rid of leaders. Get rid of politicians!!!

I also got my braces. Most of the time I'm in my serious mode because I'm afraid to smile to reveal my hideous metals. But I can't really avoid it. And I'm dealing with slow eating and toothbrushing and oatmeal. With all the stress, I think I'm eating more despite of the teeth behind bars. The happy side to this is I get to change my teeth bands with a different color each month. This month its light blue. I'm thinking red next month in protest of all the idiots that are running the country.

The blog anniversary is not just a blog anniversary. It commemorates hope born out of pain and love. This month I celebrate my freedom, and the enlightenment that no man can ever own me. I can love. I can sacrifice. I will be inspired. I will even allow myself to be hurt because pain begets strength with the right attitude. But I've since then appreciated my worth and my value. I don't need a man to complete me. But I do need to love and love I must. It's not a destination or an endpoint. It's a journey. Like golden sunsets you get to see on salt fields on the way home from work. It just makes life easier and a lot more meaningful.

I love. And it so happens that he lives halfway arund the world. And he happens to be a Viking that doesn't sail boats. But his voice melts ears ... and hearts.

Why I like this I

All together now: (sings)


Uga chaka uga chaka, uga uga uga chaka; Uga chaka uga chaka, uga uga uga chaka.

I can't stop this feeling,
deep inside of me,
boy, you just don't realize
what you do to me.

Your lips are sweet as candy
The taste is on my mind,
you just keep me thirsty for another cup of wine.

When you hold me in your arms so tight
you let me know everything's all right

I'm hooked on a feeling
I'm high on believing
that you're in love with me

I've got it bad for you darling
but I don't need a cure
I'll just stay addicted
And hope I can endure

All the good love when we're all alone
keep it up boy yeah, you turn me on

I'm hooked on a feeling
I'm high on believing
That you're in love with me

- Vonda Sheppard, Hooked on a Feeling

La lang magawa. I apologize for the cheesy song. but don't you just love how he dances?

Busy but good

Been so busy this past week with workshops and paperwork. The first seminar was on website updating which was quite fun considering all the wacky people who were with me. As part of an exercise, my partner and I took Hugh Grant’s head and placed it in Superman’s body. I think we have found someone to replace Christopher Reeve if Hugh only wears a body suit. I had wanted to place my head on Renee Zellweger, but she doesn’t have my boobs. Hahaha. Realized that my head is right where it should be.

The second workshop was on office-process flow-charting, meant for officers but I had to attend because I was the administrative-designate (meaning, nobody wanted the job) and was unlucky enough to draw a number and hence, make a presentation on the assignment. I did and impressed them with a powerpoint presentation. Hehehe – suckers! It’s easy to dazzle people who don’t type their own reports in a computer with colored pictures that move. Anyway, I was made to draw a lot of squares, circles and arrows … but I was really there for the free food – hehehe, kidding. I learned a great deal and will have more assignments related to this. Glad for the chance to make a contribution to the office.

Because of the seminars, I had to do a lot of overtime to catch up with my regular work load. So I took everything home and finished all paperwork before deadline only to have the President disrupt the spontaneous flow of things. She decides to visit my city. I clapped only when she finished her speech. I’m starting to think this country needs a dictator – a good one, for a complete regeneration. One who doesn’t kill, kidnap or put people in jail out of a whim and one who doesn’t have a wife with shoe-fetish.

I just recently discovered that I am attracted to older men. Hehehe. There were a lot of Spanish foreigners roaming around the building. And my sister was pointing to this cute young Spaniard with long hair. He was cute but not really my type. The older some men get, the smarter they look. So I think it’s always better to discover the insides before you learn to appreciate the outside. I don’t mind young men with great biceps but there’s nothing like a guy who knows exactly what he wants, where he wants it and knows where to get it. Don’t you think? Hmmmmmm ………… hahaha. Some things are better etched in the mind than on blog. So zip!

I didn’t apply for the scholarship to finish college. I was not qualified. After I had my school records checked, I was told that I would need to repeat most of the courses there. The curriculum has changed drastically and I’ve been out of the academic circle for about nine years. The computer courses I had taken have become obsolete. What was DOS then is now Java. And I would need to get new courses for about one year before I qualify for the scholarship. Never mind that I’m learning more at work then I do in school. Bummer! I could take night classes but the only school that offers night classes in this city is one I didn’t want to go to. I met a lot of very stupid teachers in that school so I didn’t really want to waste my money on learning nothing just to get school credits. So there. I am an official college drop-out. So sue me! To all young kids out there, FINISH SCHOOL!

Despite the set deadline for the removal of my mouth splint, my dentist told me it will have to stay a few more months. She will be attaching braces on my upper-teeth soon (Boo-hoo, I will have a full-metal mouth!) and the splint will have to stay till the upper teeth adjust itself. The good news is, I could see the difference in my jaw alignment. I do look slightly better. Underline the word slightly - Hehehe. Sigh. The splint is not so bad. It’s not noticeable until I remove it to brush my teeth. The braces however will be another story and I slowly await for the torture to start.

I was told Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince is out. To anyone in my immediate vicinity who plans on buying this book, I’d like you to know I’m borrowing it after you’re done. Hehehe.

Jeepney fare is up so we will stop taking the taxi. The bills are paid. The country will be taking drastic measures to save and come up with money to take care of expenses. Remember the song that goes: The future so bright, I got to wear shades? My song goes: The future is brighter, with shades. Hehehe. And I’m resting for the weekend. Well, not exactly. I’ve been writing and then looking for pictures for a Photo Friday entry. I’m also thinking of watching the new Batman movie. And catch-up on blogs and my tribe therapies. Ah, and sleep. Everything is good. I’m good.