Red she said

I'm red ... verrrrrrrrrrry RED. I dried myself under the sweltering sun during the Dinagyang weekend, taking pictures that very few people will ever see. I never learn. For the third year, in a row, I forgot to put on sunblock. This time, the damage is more intensive, covering my whole face. I did manage to protect my arms by wearing bikers sleeves. But my face, well, it's like someone threw hot water all over it. It stings. I am full of regret right now. I wasted a month's worth of Olay Total Effects. Just when I was beginning to love my face, and have memorized the Olay commercial to heart - boo hoo hoo. SUNBLOCK! How could I have forgotten.

Speaking of red, renewed ties with the Viking. The kitchen looks great ... and according to him is midget friendly (that would be me!). He has also fixed his roof, and has showed me the whole house and what he plans to do when I get there. His plans keep getting more real, fixing this and that. Preparing this and that. We seldom get a chance to talk. The time difference is exhausting. I'm too tired to get online when I get home. He wakes up too late to catch me. So our talks are short as they are sweet. I still find everything so unreal, but I was always the doubting Thomas. I need to see proof before I decide on anything.

While I was baking under the hot sun, my sisters were having a Sex In The City marathon. So I just catch the few episodes when I get home. I realized I missed the show and all the pondering all 30 something gals do to make life more complicated. I tell you, I am more of a SITC girl now than I was two years ago. My yahayah friends can attest to that. And yes, I still am not sure if I'm the marrying kind. Watching the series has convinced me of this.

Short IM from ex-bf. An indecent proposal from a married man. Hehehe. Tempting. I did say I want to try anything at least once. But no. I can still manage to fetch a bit of morals when circumstances calls for it. I have a feeling that the experience with the Crow has changed me. I'm no longer sweet. I'm not much of an idealist when it comes to relationships. I've become somewhat of a realist. And have somewhat become very arrogant about it. I like what I've become. I never want to be cinde-fcking-rela ever again. The Kkkkkk-katie girl is definitely much more fun.

From the Esquire/Marie Claire 2007 sex survey, the most powerful aphrodisiac is…

For Men
Looks 38%
Wealth 5%
Power 4%
Wit 11%
Intelligence 17%
Kindness 26%

For Women
Looks 17%
Wealth 2%
Power 6%
Wit 15%
Intelligence 18%
Kindness 43%

Chasing Atticus and more

I have a very full work load this week. Now that everything else seem to be back to normal, all I've been doing is chasing deadlines. I should be working right at this moment but I really needed a breather. My arm is about to give out and I'm trying to prolong the agony of getting my much needed caffeine fix. Oh, I sooooo need one right now.

In my fear of gaining a lot of weight because of my asthma meds, I've been trying harder to be aware of what I eat and the activities I do. Yesterday, in an effort to control or minimize the weight gain, my sister and I decided to WALK home, literally. That's about 6 kilometers of road. With our running shoes and armed with mp3 players, we walked all the way from the Capitol to the Mandurriao Branch of Iloilo Supermart. When we got there, my sister begged off and we surrendered to a Tri-sikad driver who drove us the last few meters to our house. It was not as tiring as I thought and I felt energetic when I got home. It took us about an hour, taking shortcuts at the Iloilo Sports Complex, and followed the airport runway in Taft North. I've done long walks before but this is the first time I really walked home from work. Because of this, we've started to get ambitious. Today, we will be taking the Molo road and see where it gets us. :)

I have deadlines all over the place. I have the Dinagyang activities to deal with too. And more logos and monograms I could handle. I love Photoshop, but sometimes, there's not much room for anything else.

And I hate being disappointed. I was expecting a multi-media card, an mp3 player for my nephew and some new DVDs. But I didn't get any of it. Oh, well. But I really hate getting disappointed.

Re: my new blog title. I am still into Atticus Finch. If I can't find my real Atticus, I might as well pretend to be a Finch - hehehe. I like the new blogger format. I have yet to experiment more with it. But this will do for now.

Ok, now I'm getting that cup of coffee.

At this hour

Woke up again and can't get back to sleep. It's just one of those days I guess. I tried reading a book. Current read: The Undomestic Goddess by Sophie Kinsella. The first two chapters introduces the modern day late-twenties working woman - great appartment, high-salaried job, non-existing lovelife and spending birthday alone. hehehe. Kind of like me. Except for the late-twenties and the high-salaried job - LOL. I stopped reading. There's something sad about it. Or maybe there's just something said about relating to it. LOL.

Anyway, I'm up and bored. I've managed to revive my non-existent social life last week by actually going out of the house. Had dinner with female friends - one last hurrah before we send off another one of us back to white soil. Ended up having coffee and laughing our asses off. Really miss going out.

I need to get back to bed. Good night.

FCKING Circus!

It's been quite a circus. There is pandemonium in the office building. A pulling of powers that cannot be resolve with just mild talk. No one claims to be liable. Everyone claims to have a legal right. Which is not only confusing, but purely stupid. So all employees are in a stand still. We cannot move. We cannot decide. We cannot talk freely for fear that you'd be linked to one side and loathe by another. So we wait. While the people above decide our fate. For now, we don't get our salaries. We don't get to process our papers. We don't get to have a point of view because both powers say they have our backs.

I cannot decide on a lesser evil. As far as I'm concerned, everything is evil. Nothing tyrannical is pure and good. Maybe it's the idealist in me. But I can't bear not taking sides. And I can't bear not having a choice - but that's exactly what it is ... no one is the lesser evil.

And one more thing, and may I say this with all candidness, I HATE MY FEMALE BOSS! I miss my teamwork. I miss the exchange of ideas. I miss getting credit for the things I DID and not having someone claim it for their own! I hate that I've become a secretary, instead of a person who could make change happen. And because of this, I HATE GOING TO WORK!

Good thing I am safe at home, smoking my Ventolin nebules and reading "The Devil Wears Prada". I am far from the hullaballoo. I've been sick for three weeks, absent for two days and getting my healthy dose of steroids. So I cannot be thin this month. My meds will not allow it. And my pockets will not allow me to go to Kalibo for the Ati-atihan for Photography class. And I can't pay the maid's salary if I don't get mine.

FCKING CIRCUS!

We not fat, we thick!

I'm having problems with exercise. I don't know if it's me making excuses or that I have very little self-control that I can't let myself do it. I am still with cold and still having asthma attacks. Wanted to start with 30 minute walks but that proves quite a challenge because I end up trying to catch my breath all the time. I wish there was an easier way.

This is in response to the Donald Trump vs. Rosie O'Donnell word war. Do I take offense when I'm called fat? Yes. That is an honest truth. I am overweight. My bmi says I am. Am I fat? Yes. Having to hear it from other people sounds more harsh than saying it to myself. But then again, if I don't hear it, would that push me to do something about it? I don't think so. I don't think I'd really care if people won't mention it. I might start to think I'm normal than I really am. But being overweight makes it more difficult for me to move. I know I would be more comfortable with my body if I lose a few more pounds. But I also find it difficult to lose weight if that's what all people see about me ... my being fat. The more people call me fat, the fatter I become so it seems. But maybe they can't help it? So yes, I do take offense that people call me fat. But I also must keep in mind that it is how I see myself too. The truth will sometimes hurt. Sigh, me need to be thick skinned too. I just keep thinking if people in Oprah can lose 200 to 300 lbs., why can't I lose a measly 30?

My boss ... she's returned. She's not so bad really. But she's not the team player that she claims she is. That's exactly what we were before she came back. And I'm afraid that now that she's taking the reins, we will all be moving in slow motion and without any direction except hers. And we won't have a say on how things should be. Because she tends to dictate more than she delegates. And we would become more robotlike and less productive. Sigh. Maybe I'm just fearing the worse. But this change saddens me. And I hate to think that I won't be so excited with projects than I was when we were a team. The Mission Impossible Squad. I am starting to miss our long table discussions.

The third rock from the sun is sending me a cellphone. :) I assume he has read my previous post about me needing a cellphone. Okay, maybe this blog is not income generating but it has its perks - HAHAHA! (sings:) Do a little dance, make a little love, have fun tonight, Yeah!

For better ... or for worsened

I have a bad case of common cold which is why I'm typing at 3 in the morning. I can't sleep because I can feel my throat burning and my nose running while I'm wrapped up in a sarong like a Muslim woman.

I've been on and off the rice. I haven't been eating much anyway. Everything tastes life cardboard. If I had my way, I'd diet on coffee alone. But of course, that would be bad for my asthma. I've been coughing too. But that didn't stop me from cleaning my room and re-arranging it. Now, my room has a very small island (hehehe). I have more space, and I have divided it into sections, like a work area where my computer, cameras and other hobbies are. And I have my sleeping section where my bed and my books are, and my clothes section, where my closet, shoes and bags are. The island is at the center, where all the sectins are combined into one. To think that I have the room the size of Harry Potter's closet - hehehe. I like it ... for now.

A friend loaned me a 512mb DDR RAM. ;) It works nicely in my computer. He said I can pay him when I raise the money. Yey! My Christmas wishlist really works. My old phone also stopped working. I think I over-charged the battery so now I can't turn it on. My Dad let me borrow his other phone but I'm sure he'd want it back soon. Which goes to say, I need a new phone. That, or buy new batteries. I'm leaning on a new one. But the truth is, I don't really care if I have a cellphone. Friends and family will just find it harder to talk to me without it. And that will be their problem, not mine. hehehe.

I dreamt I was getting married again last night. This time it was with a Chinese guy I haven't even seen before, inside a church. It was a better wedding. And it was a better groom - not somebody I'm head over heels in love with, but more polite, more educated, more ... well, better than the last dream. But before the ceremony starts, I find myself running for the door yet again. There's a pattern there. Am I really that afraid of getting married? Would I be afraid to get married even if I meet the right guy? Or maybe I just don't want to be married ... ever. Hmmm - I'm blaming my parents for this trauma - hehehe.

Weakened

I’va had a busy day yesterday and found myself weakened by the sight of food. I ate rice. And I ate too much during dinner with all the bad food I was not suppose to take. Which goes to show how weak I am when it comes to self-control. I don’t think I have any. I was under stress. Some changes happened in the office today which has contributed greatly to my binge-ing.

To make matters worse, I caught my sister’s cold. I am now trying to tamper it with orange juice and lots of water. My nose is all clogged up and my throat feels like sandpaper. I wish I could just go home and sleep but I can’t. I have plenty to do at work.

My old boss has resurrected. Which means I will probably have lesser work than I used to have but will not see the results I want. But I guess that’s ok. I really can’t do the job she could so I might as wel stick to what I know best. So I’ve been busy these past few days updating her with all the going ons of the past two years when she was assigned somewhere else. I fear that the camaraderie and the teamwork we had while she was gone will all go to waste. But I hope, I really hope that it could improve now that she’s back

Poda rish

which probably means, I can't think of a title so I'm using gibberish just to have something up there. Sunny Baudelaire is teaching me words that only Lemony Snicket can understand ... so don't mind my title.

Saw the first few episodes on Grey's Anatomy. There's an on-going debate among my sisters and my nieces. McSteamy vs. McDreamy. I'm still partial to Burke ;)

Spent New Year's Eve at home watching fireworks in the darkness of night. We had a blackout a few minutes after the clock turned twelve. The whole residential area had no lights except for the sparks lighting the sky like diamonds. Which was quite enjoyable to watch.

I went to mass too. New Year's resolution? Ummm - I'm not sure yet. I'll see how long this goes. My friends punished me for not going to mass the whole year by making me eat a whole bar of cadbury chocolates. I tell you, it is not much fun if what you're craving for is potato chips. :) The sisterhood night-out is as always therepeutic and was quite a blast. It will be another year till we can do that again. Sigh.

I'm back to work. Which was quite welcoming because I was getting really bored back home. We didn't celebrate the fiesta and we hid at my brother's house the whole afternoon to avoid fiesta-visitors - hehehe.

And I started a secret blog too ;) which would explain why I was not here to greet you as soon as I felt like writing. I'm also thinking of changing the address of this blog, but I might lose all my previous posts with this new blogger beta thing. So, I might keep this one. My Mundo Beyondo list still applies for 2007, the oink oink year. Happy New Year everyone!

Sugar-Coated

Sugar is bad for your health. But it goes without saying that sweeteners and diet colas are not as good as the real thing. So I’m still having difficulty with quitting sugar. But I have managed to limit my rice intake. AS IN! I read in a another blog that if you don’t lose 1 pound a week, then you’re not doing it right. I haven’t taken drastic measures but the changes I made are noticeable - to me anyway! (smirk). But that’s ok. It’s a struggle but that is always true if you’re making a lifestyle change.

I’m not going to sugar-coat the evils I’ve done. I know I will only be lying to myself. Last night, had chicken and broth for dinner - no rice. Skipped breakfast in the morning but had my morning coffee and couldn’t say no to the slice of cake my boss gave me (I liked it, and yes, I don’t want to say no to good cake - more importantly when it’s your boss offering it to you - had one slice). Lunch was batchoy and orange juice. Gave a third of the Batchoy to my friend Butchoy. Sharing is good for the health. Oh yes, had sugar-coated peanuts (hehehe) and my afternoon cup of coffee. A working girl needs brain food and caffeine to keep on going. My back aches from too much editing. But I like it.

So much for sugar-coated everything

Year of the Pig

Oink! Oink!

So this is it. I tell myself this every year but I keep hoping that maybe, this year will be it. I’m really desperate to lose weight. I now weigh 60 kilos (132 lbs.). That weight has been consistent for the last three years but my friends keep telling me how big I am. So maybe my weighing scale is no longer dependable. My pants are after all, tighter than they were used to be and I find myself buying clothes a size bigger than I used to be. So, that should wake me up right? God! I hope so! I keep picturing Gilbert Grape’s mother and I’m so afraid I will be soooooo big that I would too ashamed to leave my own house. So this has to be THE YEAR.

Plan is to walk 30 minutes a day, decrease intake of sugar, rice, bread, potatoes and pasta for at least a week then try to do without it when I can. And I know I need to exercise more.

Today is day 1. I skipped breakfast. Had coffee. Had a full lunch: chicken estofado, 1 cup of rice (I know! I know!), soup and banana candy (Duh!). I hope to skip dinner tonight. It’s not very healthy, I know that. But this is just for today when I’m very determined. I need to keep my sense of humor about me because I don’t want to be a pain in the ass when I’m losing weight. I’d rather be a nice person than a fat person any day. But yes, there will be evil spawn days and days where I won’t really care but yes, I do want to lose weight. That’s my number one new year’s resolution. And this year, will be the year.